you're mistaken....but thanks for nothing!

so, i made an inquiry regarding summer scheduling for camps only to get blasted with a rambling response regarding allegations! really!. I didn't respond to the individual actually just deleted her response. (ahh the power of delete) BUT it, unfortunately frustrated me. if it were directed at me so be it. also know this....you're mistaken. i alleged nothing. i did however comment what was shared with me by those you "coached*" (*term used loosely) more times than not girls expressed their disappointment with the way THEIR year was going and sadly, many times you & yours were given all the credit. any allegations were not mine but experiences of those who endured the time.

the entire experience has been based on "allegations". my dismissal was also due in part to your "allegations".

i endured comments YOU made regarding your co-coach in her absence, personal bias good/bad towards members of the team or those trying out. i didn't allegedly witness this i experienced it.

my downfall...i don't like conflict. i should've told you in the instant that i thought you were out of line. i should've been up front that part of my description of professionalism on a job was honesty...with those i worked with, coached, and their parents. if they system can't handle the honesty then perhaps the system is flawed in some way; i know i am. i give others (too often) the benefit of the doubt. you're entitled to your opinion. what you're not entitled to is chastising others for not sharing in that opinion. you want respect yet don't seem to give it. you have a lot of growing up to do, in my opinion.

you're talented and certainly had a lot to offer. but for some reason bitterness brought about from who knows what seemed to be the dominate force. the time has past & in this case a do over isn't an option. it's unfortunate.

just another wednesday...

it's a blessing things have turned out the way they have in my life. funny how when your young you fight so hard to keep some things together only to ultimately realize they weren't at all worth the time of effort. lesson: ability to appreciate what i have been blessed with. i hope i can pass along the lessons learned to my own children. i hope i can do it in such a manner that they don't make the same mistakes i have.

it's wednesday the 21st of April. wow where does the time go? i can't believe how quickly time flies as you get older. after returning home from a fun weekend i found myself in a low place of ick. not really sure why...can't pin point any particular reason for the blah's but needless to say they've gotten a hold on me. (devil be gone!) i've so much to be thankful for i feel even that much more guilty for feeling this way. prayer...i need it and need to be in it. i know the up and coming months are going to be beyond hectic but so be it!

just returned from taking kate to dr...good news she doesn't have strep!

today is beautiful outside. highs today in the 70's. wish i was able to be home the entire day just to enjoy it in it's entirety.

if you're reading this i'm going to be selfish and ask for prayers. not sure what exactly to pray for other that peace and clarity. thanks in advance.

not the plan...

well the weekend was an enjoyable one and seemed to go rather quickly. however i feel as though last week was one of the longest ever. it was a different experience for me hanging with the 5/6th graders. what a great group. makes me even more excited for when they move up to jr/sr high youth group.

personally i had some interesting realizations. i realized that waterparks are just a bit more fun with family. and it made me miss having mine there together. and i was surprised that matt didn't really want much to do with me...at all. this was only the 2nd time i had went with him on anything and he really managed to keep his distance. knowing kate had arrived home sunday morning made me that much more anxious for us to arrive home ourselves. i was so looking forward to being together as a family and sharing adventures. oh, how hopes can be shattered. i never in a million years would've thought that the evening would gone as it did. my son informed us he didn't like us, didn't like living with us, didn't like anything about coming home and THAT was the reason for his bad mood. he really hurt his father and it just made me sick. i've always tried to not disregard how anyone in my family says they feel. i know that there are times we say things we don't mean. however feelings from somewhere prompted the emotion that allowed the words to come out. Do i think he truly dislikes me or his father or his home...NO. if so, he wouldn't want to come here for lunch. he wouldn't rush home after school. needless to say after a looooooong conversation, initiated by him, the evening was not the homecoming i had envisioned and was not at all enjoyable.

today is a new day...
everyone is up & out of the house and i just want to sleep. so much needs to be done and i'm experiencing a downer. ugh! the sun is shining, that's a plus.