just some thoughts

being a mom...

well, contrary to what i thought about motherhood years ago, it's truly the best gig out there.  and like many things there seems to be 1001 ways to "mother" and 1002 opinions about how to do it & do it right.  i certainly have opinions on it...what i do, wouldn't do, would like to do, what i think others should/shouldn't do, etc... i guess knowing for sure one way or the other weather or not you classify as a "good mom" lies only with the end result and can perhaps be gauged by the state of the relationship between mother/child(ren) along the way. 

personally i've parented in such a manner with the hope of not only aiding my kids to grow & develop in a healthy manner & to be good, confident, self-sufficient people but also with the hope of having a strong bond, friendship if you will with them as they grow.  It would be nice when it's all said & done to have them choose to 'hang' with the "rent". ;) 

i'm pretty sure right or wrong what i'm doing is going according to plan. we're not without our issues but i'm a "big scheme" person and in the big scheme of things i feel as though both the future of my children is promising as well as my relationship with both of them.  it seems a rarity anymore that kids enjoy time at home, yet mine do.  kids rarely want to go and/or be with their parents yet mine still do.  (age 15 & 13..perhaps the end is in sight)

it's not with an iron fist that i go at parenting.  rather with a big heart and an open mind.  i'm with out a doubt making mistakes but who doesn't in this life.  i'm also striving to be true to them and to me.  i've been brutally honest, painfully blunt, and an absolute open book.  i've talked to and with them and have avoided ever talking at them.  they've seen me fail and succeed, happy and sad, at the bottom and what i perhaps thought was the top.  we've discussed struggles, hardships, life lessons, & the good, bad and ugly all in an attempt to have a perspective of how all of those things play out in this life.  and along the way i realized and am reminded again and again, it's up to me to prepare them less for this life and more for one that's eternal. 

i'll be judged along the way as will they but judgments here are only an opinion.  i'm far more concerned with the final judgement. 

i'm not perfect rather in progress as a mom and a person.  but i do thank God daily for trusting me enough to bless me with both kathryn and matthew.  if you ask me they're 2 pretty awesome individuals and i am thoroughly going to enjoy this journey with them.