when you feel certain feelings towards others? you question their motives, actions, words. you find yourself uncomfortable with their decision making abilities and the reasoning they offer up as explanation. ever have those moments? i do. i'd like to say not often, however it would be more accurate for me to say not with regard to many people or many institutions. and then.....then there is that moment when someone(s) you do respect, admire, feel confident in, without warning and better yet unsolicited comes up to you and VALIDATES all you've been feeling. WOW! it's a good feeling and an upsetting one all rolled up into one big yuck ball of feelings/emotion. especially when those of concern at the heart of the matter are directly involved with our children. i need to be clear...i in no way believe children are in danger, otherwise i'd not be blogging rather i'd be raising all kinds of HELLo! and in my heart of hearts i have to think that somewhere along the way their path has gone astray.
one trait i have and perhaps suffer from is just assuming intentions are good, people are nice & compassionate, they have others interest in mind as well as their own, and at no time would someone intentionally be calculated and mean. anyone of you ever make that wrongful assumption? when proven wrong....i am sickened to the core. and like most all things i experience in this life and don't fully understand ....i turn to God and converse with Him.
He doesn't magically make the problem or the person go away, however time and time again he has put another in my path, one who hasn't let me down and over the course of conversation confirms to me that i'm on the right track with my feelings. which in turn results in additional conversation with me asking Him, "now what do i do with that?"
thus far i've concluded these things:
- sadly not all people have good intentions
- not all people, irregardless of their position have your best interest at heart
- listen to your gut instincts
- don't seek validation from other for how you feel about someone or something....(it'll come on it's own)
- this too shall pass...
life is a continual lesson. we never stop learning and the teachers don't always have the best of intentions nor do administrators of life. and experiencing bad with good, good with bad, will never end. the true testament to the kind of person you are or aspire to be is how you handle the lesson at hand and what you learn from it.
with that said....everyday i celebrate a little bit more because jr. high is drawing to a close for the van ness family! WOO HOO!!!!!
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