very few times in this life have i been left speechless. yet as i reflect upon some relationships i find myself just that....speechless. so many thoughts and words going through my head yet if i were to utter the 1st one i would feel as though i had fallen. fallen to a level that i've zero desire to be at. and then i feel sad. sad for those who's lives are such that they experience constant conflict with most everyone or someone on a daily basis. i've people who comment to me 'why are you so surprised?' and my response....because i gave kindness. i'm never quite sure what to think when kindness is given, yet with the change of the wind the course is changed.

i've learned that not only will i never fully understand some people, i've really no desire to do so. and so i move on. load lightened. i've opted for a course without conflict, drama, irritation. instead i choose to be at peace.

reflections at times tho brings about sorrow. sorrow that others perhaps are missing out on such peace. i can't really begin to know what others think or feel aside from what they opt to share with me. and based on those conversations and experiences alone i draw my conclusions.

i do know this....i've always treated others the way i would want to be treated. and frankly can't imagine treating others in the manner some have treated me. grandma always said....kill'm with kindness and if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. as a result there have been moments and relationships which have simply left me speechless. ....

....that makes me sad.


i'm so thankful for a God who knows my heart. who doesn't forsake me. who comforts me and who is always with me.