Bare with me as my thoughts right now are kinda all over the place.

My memories of school are fond ones. I looked forward to all the stuff that happened between labor day and memorial day. Back to school was truly a most wonderful time of the year. I got to see kids who were both older and younger, some amazing adults (although I probably wasn't fully aware of just how amazing they really were) and everyday was something new. I really can only recall one time that I didn't want to go to school and that was in the 5th grade when we had a sub for the week. I recall she was pretty awful. Other than that I enjoyed school, my classmates, the teachers and staff and all things associated with it!

At no point though growing up did I ever desire to be a teacher. Not sure what I wanted to do, nor do I really know now, but I figured out that whatever it was I did it was necessary for me to make a difference. In some manner, some way.

I came to this conclusion after spending most of my 20's working in the corporate world "for the man" (lol that cracks me up) doing stuff. Much of that time was spent in HR and time after time I would get calls, messages, and what not from grown adults explaining why they couldn't come in to work that day. I for one was thankful the sick person stayed home. I was even more touched when they stayed home to care for a child. I was also angered that there were punishments for too many days missed no matter the reason. Granted not everyone is honest and there are those who work the system but for the most part I'd like to think that the grown up is honest. If not well I'm of the belief that those sort of things will "come out in the wash" if you will.

After leaving the corporate world I took a break. I took part-time jobs and honestly just did some soul searching. It was at this time that I started substitute teaching. It was an interesting gig to say the least. I've subbed in 3 different school systems, and at all levels and just about every class. I can't think of a subbing experience that I've not taken something away from it. Sadly and for me most importantly is that school isn't what it used to be.

I found myself in taking on a job assignment at my last place of employment for the sake of my own kids. Not the financial paycheck but for the "life" paycheck if you will. I remember telling andy that I had to take the job just to protect my kid as well as other kids. I know that sounds harsh and I don't at all mean physically and honestly it's even hard to explain at times because the scenario's just seem so surreal. (side note: aprox 2-3 years after leaving that job I joined some girls in a birthday celebration of a friend we have in common. I'm not "buddies" with these ladies by any means but as we enjoyed the meal and conversation 2 of them, both who have spouses who work for the school commented that their kids had experienced, or complained about some of the very acts I witnessed. They talked about many of the same occurrences that I tried to defuse or smooth over or at the very least diminish) I needed to be there to tell my kid that the kind of behavior she/he was witnessing from certain adults was NOT ok.

And so it began .... my own personal journey. Not at all sure where it would lead me, where I'd land but continually praying that the Lord use me. That I'd be where He needed me to be and that I'd be just what He needed me to be to those with whom I crossed paths, coworkers, and people of all ages. I wanted to be a light, encouraging, and perhaps even an inspiration to one or two.

Now just so we're clear....I'm entirely flawed and by no means an educated educator. I am however a lover of life, a follower of Christ, continually learning/growing and like to approach others openly, friendly, honestly, respectfully because well....they are a person...mostly likely flawed as well, growing, and like the rest of the human race, they too are probably just doing what it takes to get to the next moment.  Additionally I'd like to be clear that not all whom I worked with at the school, in fact, not most were what I would call a negative influence. But human nature is for us to hold onto the bad as it tends to over shadow the good. I wanted to do all I could to overshadow the bad. (just say'n)

I was reminded this morning, once again of just why I got involved. I just don't get it. I don't get being anything other than encouraging to a kid. I don't get why adults think snarkey comments to a kid are acceptable. I've learned that it does ZERO good to talk to the powers that be. (thus i blog....not that this does any good either but at least I've got it off my chest and out there...I'm so over having to hear of this sort of thing) Is attendance important? yes. Has my kid ever stayed home just because? yes. Because I'm his/her mom and I said it was OK. Teachers take personal days during their contracted 183 in the classroom and most likely for the very reason they take those day(s) off, I too have allowed my children to do the same. Punish me ....not them. I don't call them in sick when that happens I just simply say they'll be out. Those absences are unexcused and that's on us. However when they're sick and home per doctors orders as well as school policy I expect that to be respected.

Sigh.... I'm so not gonna change anything anytime soon. I've 1 1/2 more years to do all I can to encourage, raise, mentor, inspire, and model to my kid on a daily basis how to be a kind, accepting, tolerant, respectful, and perhaps inspirational individual. You see the boy, he's a realist. He calls them as he sees them. I just find it sad that both he and the girl have missed out on many of the fond memories that I experienced. I wonder who he will say inspired him. I wonder what the fond memories will be?

I've also learned that like life the school setting provides much more than an academic education. And as parents we need to be hands on.

So here I am.... flustered, somewhat annoyed and frustrated and saddened all at the same time. And my boy well....he's asleep in the recliner feeling rough and upset that he most likely won't get to play in the next football game even if he is fever free and feeling better.