Intentional / unintentional

Intentional =(i)
Unintentional =(u)

these two words have been swimming about in my head for some time.  i've pondered actions (i/u); words (i./u); relationships (i/u) and tried to sum up how i seem to go about most things...intentionally or unintentionally.  I'll blame my friend Heather Neslteroad who is also a blogger and writes for a blog called the intentional journey.  the name of the blog alone gives way to wondering.

God has our life/story mapped out.  He knows the path, the obstacles and the intent.  For us it's an unknown.  However we do know how we choose to act/react, we choose our words/silence, we choose who we let in and who we let go.

I've given much thought lately to many of the people in my life, past and present.  How I've allowed them to influence me. What power I gave up to them, if any.  Why those who are still a part of my life are still and why others no longer are.  Needless to say it's a lot to consider.  In addition I am left wondering what if any impact I have had on others.  ....intentional and unintentional.

I figure in designing me God had intent.  As I've come to realize this I've also realized all I do and say will in some way result in some effect on something or someone.  It's not about me. 

Our journey through this life will be full of intentional and unintentional aspects.  As I think about my relationships with people in this manner I find it sheds a new light on how I view them.  I feel family is unintentional as they are who God has connected us with. But, as one grows choosing to retain/maintain those relationships is very much intentional.  As a child my family was near, cousins, aunts, uncles, greats & grandparents and my parents were together.  As an adult most all of those relatives have moved on, away or passed.  Now keeping up those relationships becomes intentional.  As does letting some of them go. 

With the passing of my mom I really contemplated this even more.  Our relationship was unintentional as a child and became very intentional as I grew to be an adult.  I (we) had to work at it.  And in the end it felt good to say I too would've chosen her to be my mom and I was glad we became friends.  We (I) struggled with the mother/daughter thing.  I'm glad we intentionally worked on our relationship.  As friends came to pay their respects I was left wondering what might've happened to some of their friendships.  I thought of their effect on mom's life and in some instances on mine. It was good to see old familiar faces and even better to feel as though you were able to pick up where you left off with some of them.  Others had me wondering why exactly they would allow "stuff" of this life get in the way of paying respects and celebrating a life.

The last 3 weeks with mom gave me a lot of time to be reflective.  It's given me a greater appreciation of family and friends.  I've had many friends over the years and many people come and go from my life.  I've thought a lot lately about those who remain in my life, intentionally or unintentionally and feel so very blessed that they are still around.  Very blessed to know them.  The past 3 weeks I've realized that I don't want or need to give "face time" or any of my precious time to those who have intentionally moved on with out me.  For it's not the number of people one has in their life, rather the quality of people.  I am blessed with a life long friend, Rhonda Compo Titus, a college friend, Jill Mercer, a best friend Anne Craun, and my modern day grownup friends Jessica Ankenbruck, Tana Boland, Techia Brewer, Cindy Evans, Stacy Hall, Heather Knee, Heather Nestleroad, Trina Nevers, Letha Powell, Cindy Roach, Sherri Rush.  It's a comfort to know that when I get together with any one of those girls, it's just as it should be.  Easy, reliable, comforting, calming, funny, and worth having.  I can't begin to list all the friends/acquaintances that bring a smile to my face at the mention of their name, because God has blessed me with many.  

God has intentionally put some really fantastic people in my life, for that alone my blessings over flow.  I only hope going forward I can, with intent, be more pleasing to Him and a good friend, person to those who pass through my life. 

I hope to live intentionally .....