Odds are this blog post will be random, vague at times, and certainly all over the place because truth be told, that is just how my mind works. So, here it goes….

Growing up I really cannot recall NEEDing anything. I can however recall WANTing much! I was self-absorbed (i do believe other would agree as well), self-centered, and for sure selfish. I was certainly consumed by self.  I rebelled against  folks telling me what I could and could not do. I was not really a problem child rather more of a brat. #uglytruth

As life continued to happen to me and as I continued to grow I had an underlying sense of what I wanted out of life, basically speaking. I knew the type of relationship I wanted with a husband. I did not even come close to having that with my first. I knew what I did not want with regard to relationships with others, hence some of come & gone while others have sustained and been refined. But, the one relationship that has mattered to me more than any other has been the one I have with Christ.

I grew up in the Friends church. Sundays were for church. And from my earliest memory church was for Sunday. I had friends who were baptised, friends who were not. However most everyone in my circle growing up did Sunday church. I do not recall attending much after jr. high, and certainly not too much after my parents divorced. My focus…. Boys. #mistake

Fast forward to a time in my life when God got busy on me. I was broken. I was seeking. I did what I knew I needed to do and I cried out to him. ….I felt as though it was all I had left. And then this….Church, Andy, marriage, a new family, Kathryn, home, job loss, job, miscarriage, Matthew, Mt. Olive, mission trip, new home, several job changes for both andy & I, vacations, mission trip, gut check, new to us home, youth, mission trips, church, ….. And it goes on. The focus switched. Not me but you Lord…. More of you!

We can be reminded weekly, monthly and yes even daily that we are not rich …. Well not by the standards of some. There are those times when there’s “too much month at the end of the money” yet, we are faithful. There have been times when we were financially able to be a blessing to others and times when we’ve been on the receiving end of the blessing. Nonetheless the blessings, well they do flow.

In a conversation with Andy this past weekend I said to him…. For one minute, allow yourself to dream. If you were to “win” the lottery what would you do? And while he pondered his answer, I contemplated my own. I said I wanted to be a blessing to others. Specifically to be able to provide blessings to others.

In my position at my workplace and through the relationships that I have made through the years that I spent subbing, I have seen young people go through some of the same struggles I did. I have seen roadblocks go up for young people trying to better themselves just because of ignorance from another. And some of these same young people DO NOT GIVE UP! It is easy to get bitter, I want to be one who helps turn bitter to better. Not handouts out of pity, but rather a helping hand up out of love. I thought I had to be RICH to do this. Yet this morning it was revealed to me that I am already Rich. Despite my debt, bills, more month-less money moments, I am wealthy.

You see my Father, is a King and this morning through the message of my pastor he reminded me that I can do exactly what I had envisioned, on a different scale perhaps but the nuts and bolts are there. Now to make it happen!

My small group has been doing the study over Philippians; To live is Christ and to die is gain and in the first lesson we revisited how Paul used both his words and his example to share Jesus with others. This study reminds me this journey is NOT about me! I want all I am and all I do to magnify HIM! To glorify HIM! A bit of clarity came through this study as to why nonbelievers might refer to Christians as hypocrites, especially when they knew us BC (before Christ) and fell by the wayside as we journeyed to know Christ. This journey is a bumpy one. It refines you. It uses you and all that has brought you to Christ for the glory of God. You see, it is impossible to have the same relationships you once had. A relationship with Christ fills you with strength like no other….. Even more awesome is the family of Christ, the body of believers that comes with it.

Church is not just for Sunday. Christians are not perfect. THIS WORLD IS NOT ABOUT ME! I will stumble, I will fall, I will sin…… I will repent, I will seek to do better, I will run Run RUN for that relationship with my savior that has saved me from myself. I am rich with blessings from my father.

I want to go through this life, loving like Jesus and being a blessing to others. I want my life to glorify God. I want to hear from my father: “Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!'’ Matthew: 25:21