It's been awhile

Wow I don't even know where to begin!  July has came & went and August is on it's way out.  Mom's been gone a year.  Yesterday I had to put down one of my best friends, PJ our mini-schnauzer that we rescued 3 years ago.  In addition I chipped my front tooth while engaging in day 3 of new preschool job activities. (more on that later).  On the kid front there have been surgeries, cheer camp, cheer competition, and mission trips.  On the (new) home front we've signed a new purchase agreement and are forever faithful this is the path God has laid out for us and even though there are detours along the way we will arrive at our destination.  Whew...

I gotta say though that no matter the ups/downs that come at me I am so thankful that through each one God allows me to see the blessings.  It's truly overwhelming.  Bottom line, it's AWESOME!  For instance:  my incredibly broken toe - broken before Heather & I ever began our journey in search of THE shoes that would help to ease her fear of public speaking (haha) I broke my toe, major!  Through laughter, retail therapy and great company I trudged through the pain and ultimately reset the break.  I was able to praise Jesus through the pain because of the friendship and support of another He knowingly placed in my life.  How often do you hear one express thanks for the blessing of a dentist?  Well, I do. (and i am NOT a fan of dentistry) Thankful that not only is my dentist a good one at that, but that she is someone I can call a friend.  Just knowing her on a personal level makes checkups more doable and emergencies less freaky!  What a blessing to have her work me in, in a super timely fashion to repair my broken off bit of front tooth!  She could totally relate to my desire to not partake of the 'red-neck' look.  :)  PTL!  And the list of blessings goes on & on....our vet, the people we're buying the house from, family, trustworthy lawyer, church, & friends.

On the subject of friends, well... I am convinced I have the BEST of them.  Assembled by His hands for sure each is just the right fit.  Some are closer than others but each contributes to my life making it feel complete.  For them I am thankful.

And then there are those lives I've evidentially touched somewhere along the line.  Former students who take the time to wish me well on my FB wall, send me a 'friend request' or accept mine, or current little ones who once in the classroom run to hug my legs!  WOW!  how awesome is that!  It's comforting to know (and a reminder) that time here matters.  Matters to more than you may imagine, in ways you may have not conceived.  For those revelations I am thankful.  But I am most thankful for those persons God has put in my path on this journey through life.  ;)  They're amazing, as they are, God did good!

So how about you?  Take a minute and assess your blessings.  They're all around you, take many shapes and forms, and are at times disguised.

well it's been quite the summer thus far!  i'll do a quick recap of events up til now and then move on to a little something else.

kat had toncils & adenoids out, bled twice! SCARY, matthew went to honduras, andy fell off the roof (he's ok!  PTL), the amboy house is almost done!  oh so close!  WE ARE BUYING THE OTHER ONE!  IT'S OFF MARKET BUT IS OURS UPON SELLING ONE OF OUR OWN!!!!  again, PTL!  we've had multiple gatherings with friends, sweltering hot heat, kokomo beach with out of state friends, the annual cookout at moms.... :( , and I turned 46!  whew....and that's all just the first month of summer break.

here it is july 11 and in just over a month school will be back in session!  until then VBS, work, cheer practice, cheer camp, cheer competition, all have yet to happen!  whew...just thinking about it.  andy leaves for san antonio for a few days next week for work, i do miss him when he's gone.  so much has happened and yet there's still so much to do.

this summer has been exceptionally hot, but i'm praising the Lord because it's not been humid!  woo hoo!  If all goes according to my plan...provided it's in line with my Gods plan then we will be planning on moving end of september first of october!  of course i'll appreciate prayers but fully understand that  God has this all under control, and for that i'm thankful and faithful.

mom has been on my mind a lot this month.  for a year ago she was still with us.  we've talked, or rather i've talked and i'm certain she's listened.  she was always a good listener.  (and talker lol)

fathers day came and went.  i didn't call my dad.  i did send him a card though.  i told him i loved him.  i've realized a couple of things, 1) no matter the situation, he should hear it from ME that i love and care.  2) no matter the situation, he's my dad and i'm his daughter...even if i'm the only one who acknowledges that.  ....i don't really know where it went wrong.  i'm not even sure if knowing would help the situation, so i pray.

this growing older thing is kinda weird, and enjoyable all at the same time.  i do however find my self getting anxious at times about the simplest of things.  some scare me, some confuse me and others calm me.  you know how as time passes and one day you pause and take a look at your surroundings and your life and all the blessings, messes, and blessings!  i tend to do that often.  i like to hit pause.  but i have to admit there are those times when in doing so i get scared, or apprehensive.  i know that at some point those who are on this journey with me, making it special and enjoyable will someday ...not be.  that's when i get scare.  it's in this moment of feeling that i want to recoil and not love.  can you imagine.?!  i get scared of loving.  not being loved doesn't scare me.  but i find myself afraid to love.  why?  the only conclusion i can come up with is that in doing so, in not loving....it'll be easier when it's time to let go.

and then i realize that all that is bunk!  and i'm back to being me.

had lunch today with a young lady who i adore!  she's off to college in the fall and as many of you know i truly feel this is one of the most exciting times in a persons life.  any hoo, we were talking about being real v. being fake.  in our convo it was questioned how to act toward someone who you didn't much care for.  (i feel like i can be a pro at this!)  this has been a source of concern for me for some time.  and here's my conclusion.  if you're a nice person and being nice to others is important to you then be nice.  be you.  be to them how you'd want someone, anyone, to be to you.  if you can manage that then there's nothing fake about your approach.  fake is when you're anything other than yourself!  your feelings can be less than positive, but there are times when being ourself means putting feelings aside and just being.

well, that's the perspective that works for me any way.  and it's what i'll go with until i change and become mean or something.  ;)  *confession:  i do have a mean streak, i have to arm wrestle it so that i don't allow it to define me.  

well, that's about it for now.  i'm at church blogging, as our computer is in a funk.  thus the delayed post.  wishing you all well, thanks for reading....feel free to share your thoughts with me.

blessings,
kel

Blessings...the good, bad & ugly!

Do you ever give much though to Gods handy work?  Ever spend much time giving Him thanks for all the good stuff?  How about this one, do you ever give thanks to Him for all the times things haven't worked out (the way you wanted?), for the change of course, for the disappointments.  Are blessings only those things that make us feel warm and fuzzy?  Or can they be disguised as something ugly?  (ie: a tricky parent/child relationship, job loss, financial difficulties...ect.)

Over the years I have really found myself pondering the idea of Blessings.  I've been quick to be thankful for all the good stuff, family - the ones i enjoyed, friends, health, home, you know the everyday "Thank you God for all that you have blessed me with" sort of thankfulness.  But as time would have it (and perhaps too much time to contemplate) I've also been giving thanks to Him for the times things haven't gone my way.  Even as an adult one of the toughest things to hear is "No".  But as a faithful adult I've come to realize that my Fathers "No" is simply because He has a better plan.  Oh, and I need to trust in it!

Okay, now have you ever felt blessed yourself from anothers blessing?  You know, how sometimes just by knowing someone, knowing their dreams, fears, anxieties, hopes, they bless your own life.  In taking the time to develop friendships, sow the seeds that God has planted, you can truly reap a bountiful harvest of blessings.

My mom has blessed me in many many ways.  Many of the ways were quite obvious to those who knew us, knew her and even those who just observed.  Some of those blessings were tough to identify at times but with time and prayer became defined.  Bottom line, Mom blessed my life more than I ever would've given her credit for while she was with us.  Someday I'll tell her so accompanied by a hug.

My dad also has blessed my life.  I believe many of the obvious blessings came early on for me.  Mostly in my childhood and in the manner in which I remember him- jovial, ornery, my biggest fan, a softy.  Then came some of those undesirable blessings if you will.  Adultery.  Lies.  Abandonment.  Life lessons no one ever wants to learn.  My dad defined for me, clarified for me the kind of man I would hope to have in my life one day.  I very clearly recognized my blessing when he came back into my life. 

And then there are those friendships that have filled up all those years growing up.  The preschool friends, elementary, jr, hi, high school, college, those who came and went while trudging through the 20's and 30's and at last those who low and behold suck around and waltzed in just as life is getting good.  I find myself reflective and thankful as we experience life with one another.  Happy when they're happy.  Joyful when they rejoice.  Mournful when sorrow strikes.  And probably the best feeling of all....calm, just knowing they're in my life. 

I turn 46 in just under a month.  And I can say with out a doubt I have truly been blessed.  I will celebrate my 1st birthday ever without my mom.  The blessing....she's with her parents and PAIN FREE!  It's been 2+ years since i've talked to my dad or seen him.  The blessing in that....God hasn't hardened my heart.  I remember good times, miss those, and am sadden by the parting of ways.  But feel stronger than I can ever remember feeling.  I love him, miss the guy I knew and wish him well.  We're gonna get our house!  Only God knows when exactly but He orchestrated a series of events that has allowed both us and the seller to breathe a sigh of relief, knowing that this is His will.....what a blessing. 

I challenge you to not just go through this life thanking God only for those obvious blessings.  But open yourself up to Him completely.  Let Him open your eyes, ears and heart.  Be accepting of all that He has in store for your Journey at all times giving Him the glory.  Be open to the storm for it too is a blessing from above.

Oh, and just so you know, YOU too are a blessing.
~ God bless...

The power of a round table....

Round tables are the best.  No defined space, no Head of the table, no one "squared off" against another, just a continual circle.  Often a circle of friends.

Whenever we dine out I prefer to sit at a round table however they're not easy to come by.  But there's just something about them that makes the experience of dining with others that much more pleasant. Everyone is joined together.  Everyone is visible.  Everyone is easily heard.  Spaces overlap adding to the feeling of community if you will.

Round tables are often found in kitchens where family and friends gather.  It's that table that is often the heart of the home.  That table bares witness to many conversations, homework assignments, board games & meals.  It endures spills, scratches, & clutter.  But its most awesome super power is it's ability to bring people together.  For a time.  For food, fellowship and fun. 

Just last week I stopped by a friends house to drop of some chocolates.  My daughter & I were immediately invited in whisked away to the kitchen where we unexpectedly and welcoming-ly were asked to join them at their table.  It was a busy time for my friend but the table exerted it super power and all four of us girls were soon seated, munching nachos, taste testing cookies, and my favorite....laughing.  We talked, ate, talked, laughed, talked, and ate.  Stories were told.  Memories revisited.  Tears shed (happy ones).  And friendships fed.  As was the soul. 

For a time all else stopped....and friendships were fed. 

There's a lot of power in table talk.  Round table talk is (in my opinion) the best.  Thank you to my friend for the welcome and the time.  I was reminded of a time (back in the day) when "visiting" happened.  I had almost forgotten about it.  Today is always full of schedules, and time constraints.  So much so that I truly believe that perhaps that is a contributing factor to the demise of so many families and friendships.  No one has time to stop, sit at the round table and talk. 

Pull up a chair why don't ya.  Sit a spell and let's visit.

I'm kinda neurotic when it comes to starting things that will take some time.  I tend to not be able to just do it when ever, rather the beginning has to make sense to me.  For instance, on the 1st, a Monday, or some other logical "time" for the start of something.  So tomorrow it is, June 1 and I will be starting to...eat more healthily, walk daily & ....................................................................................................................................................................
Jog.

Yes you read that correctly, jog.  Why?  I know right?  I'm so not a fan of running for any reason other than an emergency but I got to thinking:  What is it that I have that runners do not.  Answer:  fat knees and belly fat.  So there you have it.  Truth be told I'm really not all that displeased with the shape that is me.  I'm a chub.  Rolly polly.  Jolly if you will. ;)  But I do not like my fat knees.  And, having done the Advocare 24 day challenge a few times I know this, 1) i feel better when i eat better 2) i have more energy when i eat better 3) i have more energy when i do some sort of exercise even if it is walking and 4) why not incorporate a bit of a jog into my regimen  What's the worst thing that could happen?   You see, what ever is gonna happen is gonna happen.  For it is written. 

I will weigh myself only for the purpose of encouragement/discouragement.  I will however keep a weekly tab on my knee & belly fat.  I'm curious like that. 

Joining me on my venture will be my beautiful daughter.  She's been after me to "run" with her.  Not that she's been running (she doesn't want to do it alone) and I've tried to encourage her to eat better.  So together perhaps we will have some sort of success.  (if we don't piss each other off.  lol)

So here's to the start of something.  A journey if you will.  Looking forward to it!

EOM ....juggling!

Due to the increased prices of EVERYTHING!, I have found myself trying to be a bit more frugal.  Not that we're experiencing any kind of notable financial crisis, but simply because prices are just too damn high!  I'm so over the smaller packaging (that is still only half full) and the ridiculous increase in goods.  I haven't the storage or freezer space necessary to successfully do bulk purchases or take advantage of the 10 for 10 days at meijer, and thanks to my pampered family couponing is next to impossible. (they're a very brand specific bunch)

You see I shop, really shop only 2 times a month on Andy's payday.  In addition we are participants in Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace (which works people!).  4- years into this recover/repair/replenish/reward! program if you will, thus I have a certain budget for my shopping endeavors.  A budget that was set 4 years ago...and has only seemed to take hit after hit from what is becoming a scary, pathetic market. 

I have began to gauge my success at shopping based on my need prior to those much anticipated pay days!  For instance, food is I'd say in the yellow as we're good on many "filler" items, but lacking on meat this time.  Not completely out but just enough of it to cause me to be uber creative.  (yay pinterest & allrecipes.com)  Thus I can conclude that my last shopping experience was pretty on the mark with my meal planning and stock up options.  (yay me!)  The only area crying out for rationing is the bathroom, as the toilet paper has reached a critical level.  We're talking approaching code RED! Just this morning I had to send the munchkins into the depths of their bedrooms to do a 'roll search'.  (roll search=retrieving the rolls taken to the bedside while suffering from allergies)  Success was ours as Matthew was able to produce what appeared to be 3/4 of a roll!  PTL!  We're good for another day.   I hope.

Only 2 tragedies over the course of the 2 weeks as well.  One loaf of bread (darn mold) and a banana that became covered up by paper (go figure) and opted to skip the ripe stage and go straight for rotten.  blech.  I was able to make most all of the meals planned for, left overs were minimal and didn't last long. And in addition had just what I needed to feed the crew that helped Andy to begin the siding process on the house in Amboy.  Not too bad. 

Shopping day is tomorrow.  And I look forward to it.  Tonight I will be surfing Pinterest, Allrecipes.com and any other food source I can come up with for menu ideas and healthier eating options.  It happens every June, eating habits will be altered in an attempt to be a bit more fit on the inside and boost the energy.  In addition I look forward to seeing a full basket of toilet paper.  For when I see it in the state it is approaching, I have a tendency to panic. 

So here's to me trying to beat the system and get the absolute most for my money, eating more healthily and breathing a sigh of relief that I'll be able to take care of any paper work that might come up!

Eternal Optimist

I swear I'm the eternal optimist.  I get so giddy just thinking about possibilities, opportunities, adventures, changes, and perhaps more simply put the future.  I'll credit my past for that outlook. 

You see, no matter what my experiences have been good, bad, pretty, ugly, eventful, uneventful and regardless of any obstacles that might've been in my way I like where I've landed.  I love my family, I love my husband, my daughter and son.  I love my friends.  As a result I appreciate the paths I've gone down, the lessons I've learned and am still learning, and because of all of that I find myself eager for each new day.  I look forward to the mystery of it all knowing that it's a book that 's already been written.  It has an amazing cast of characters that are so intricately intertwined with one another that I can't wait to see how the new day, next chapter reads and plays out. 

Memories allows me to reflect on past chapters and smile, laugh, cry, evaluate, reevaluate, and adjust where needed. 

Life is truly like a good book.  At least that's how I see my own.  And as a result I find myself giddy with excitement as this life goes on.  If I were to guess the titles of the upcoming chapters perhaps they'd read like this:  ADVANCED REMODELING, SUMMER FUN, TEENAGE FOLLIES, A TRIP WITH A MISSION, THE CAMPING SPIRIT (church & cheer), SOLD! THE DEAL IS DONE!, LET'S MOVE!, AUGUST, A MONTH OF NEW BEGINNINGS.  Keeping in mind I am NOT the author of my storybook life rather a character, perhaps the protagonist (haha) but none-the-less I can only hope that those possible chapter titles are a part of my upcoming life. 

Yep, I'm the eternal optimist.  I know there will be bumps along life's path and possible detours but I also with out a doubt know that the book is perfectly written and perfectly written for me.

On a different note, I came across this thought and it really struck a chord with me.  It sums up my point of view of recent experiences with people and it is this:  I'm not angry that you lied to me, rather I'm disappointed that I can no longer believe what you have to say.  As an optimist it is this very notion that hurts ones soul.  .....moving on.

God Bless & have a great day!

How exciting!

The excitement is in the air.  I've said it before and I'll say it again, this is truly a time of year where you feel, experience, sense the whole "out with the old" sentiment. The dismal seasons, if you will, are behind us and the joy, hope and promise of summer lies ahead.  Even though I live in the Midwest you give me a 75+ degree day and blue skies with the glow of the sun and I smell the beach!  The out of doors takes on the scent of the tropics with tanning oil, back yards are transformed into make shift beaches and decks become the beach front!  As night falls bon fires become the source of ambiance and entertainment.  The coconut scented air is transformed into that of an enticing char-grilled steakhouse.  YUM!  Few houses will be without graham crackers, Hershey bars and marshmallows.  Every thing seems to just come alive! 

How exciting!

How exciting for the graduates, for the students who are 1 year closer to being a graduate, to all the soon to be newlyweds taking advantage of the month of June.  And with weeks like we've been having it's hard to not have a spring in your step, a smile on your face, and anticipation for what's sure to be an amazing summer.

How exciting!

Summer seems to be the time for adventure!  And on so many levels!  Ballgames, cookouts, family gatherings, fireworks, camps, vacations, pool parties, bon fires, etc....  So many memories are made many of which will fill our conversation's for months to come. 

How exciting!

I'm doubly excited for this summer.  Mostly because of all the hope I have in it.  It's possible this summer will be quite an adventure for my family and certainly one we've worked hard towards and anxiously awaited!  As I try to schedule all the events I realize that it will come and go far quicker than I would've hoped.  Times flies when you're having fun & growing old!  haha!

So here's to summer!  Here's to: friends, pools, ballgames, fireworks, smores, bon fires, corn hole, reunions, vacations, beaches, amusement parks, church camps, mission trips, cheer camps, fairs, food on a stick!, laughter, memories, wind in your hair, tans, flip flops, farmers tans, sunglasses, lemonade, weddings, rummages, graduations, and good times! 

Looking forward to summer 2012.  I'm thinking I'll kick back and enjoy it as much as I can!

my last mothers day. mine is gone i will celebrate no more.

have you ever found yourself moving about this life only to pause and think...how did i get here?  many times this is less of a random occasion and more of a normal experience.  and frankly it can be more troubling than not.  

mothers day was like that for me.  it was weird from start to finish with a bit of good in the midst of it all.  it was a restless night preceding the day.  kat wasn't at home rather with a friend and would be joining us for church.  matt wasn't feeling well so i gave him some meds and let him sleep.  and my in-laws joined us for services.  it was nice to have them join us.  none-the-less the morning just seemed 'off'.  church was followed by lunch at olive garden.  it'll probably be the last time i request that as i'm pretty much the only one who enjoys it.  truly enjoys it.  so although the meal was great to me i feel i can safely say the rest of the family would've preferred any other location.  next it was onto best buy where i was to select my md gift.  we left with nothing and i just ordered what i wanted on-line.  i feel theres a hidden message there, when one has to order their own md present.  and that was the end of the md celebration.  

next it was off to menards for additional items for amboy.  siding and carpet so that that place can get completed.  (ha!)  and then home.  kat had to work.  matt immediately took to video gaming.  i laid down. andy left for amboy.  

something just seemed off.  

i had thoughts of friends whom i wanted to wish a happy md to.  jill, heather n, heather k, anne, ida, jess, letha, rhonda.  i had family i also wanted to share the sentiment with, kim, julia, jamie.  some i got too others i did not.  

something just seemed off.

i had mentioned i wanted to go to fairmount that day.  i wasn't sure what i wanted to do but wanted to put something at moms grave.  i didn't.  

something just seemed off.

it was mothers day.  

i was with out one.

that's what seemed off.

and then the day came to an abrupt end.  harsh words were spoken.  no apologies uttered.  and md was over. 

i laid in bed feeling more alone than i can ever remember feeling.  longing to feel.  

i've concluded i'm not a fan of md.  and i have opted to no longer participate.  my mother has passed.  i remember her daily and smile and cry and get frustrated depending on the memory.  i enjoyed picking her gift out and resented selecting mine.  i enjoyed taking her out where ever it was easiest for her to go and swallowed each bite feeling guilty for having forced my selection on my own family.  in the past i enjoyed seeing her smile and get joy just from being together and out of the house.  yet this year sat thinking of the time that was being wasted and work that wasn't getting done on the house.  

the "oh yeah, btw....happy md" seemed less like a sentiment and more like requirement.  however the phone call and it's "i love you & happy mothers day" was certainly a bright spot.  

i must do some self examination.  for if i am being treated the way i treat others i've have a lot of room for improvement.

948-5563

howdy ho momma!  How's it going?  I find that when I think of you I try to think of you there.  Healthy, whole, and without pain!  What a glorious thing!  I imagine you with grandma & grandpa, and uncle Bud.  And I still to this day find myself wondering how I've gotten through another day without actually hearing your voice.  I miss you loads.

Eric and I along with Matthew picked out your stone.  It's simple and a bit raw as if plucked right out of nature with the addition of a cross.  I think you would approve.  I'll be so glad to see it there in stead of the little marker from Armes-Hunt.

We received the results from Kathryn's testing and she is A-OK!  what a blessing to say the least.

It seems as though so much is going on.  I wonder at times how it is that life just continues.

The deadline is approaching for the contract and purchase of the house I showed you.  Golly if you have any pull with the Big guy I'd sure appreciate it.  I can relate to how you felt those times you said you hurt for your children/family because you were unable to provide for what they wanted.  If I could make this happen NOW I would.  And not at all for myself but for my husband and kids.  I really have come to believe it's the change we need in our lives. And am fearful that time is running out.

Matt is doing well in golf.  He really enjoys it.  I'm glad it's something he can do on his own.  For whatever reason there are so many people left on this earth that feel the need to steal away ones joy at every turn and knowing he can play a game that solely relies on his own abilities is a comfort.

I need to thank you again for how you raised me.  You allowed me to be me, figure out who I was, and embraced all the changes that came with discovery.   You encouraged me to have a voice and an opinion and to be confident.  As I think about the people you introduced into my life I can truly take away a lesson from each and everyone of them.

I've told you a lot about many of the people who have crossed my path.  I've shared with you my frustrations and joys that have been brought about by getting to know these people, working with them, worshiping with them, occupying a bleacher with them, and raising my own children with theirs.  And for sure the life lessons continue, daily.  I will say this, the place I am in has certainly caused me to pause, reflect, take personal inventory and adapt.  I've adapted in a way that seems to not be the norm rather in a way that truly feels guided by God.  I'm certain if I were to look back for a couple of sets of footprints, I'd only see one.

Perhaps too it's been your passing that has really caused me to pause and reflect.  Reflect on the legacy I'm leaving and the example I'm setting.  I feel it's given me cause to really reflect on who I am and chose to be.  As a result almost daily I feel more sure of that and empowered by that.  I find my self contemplating or listening if you will to what God brings me to.  One thing I'm finding out is that I'm not alone.  Not alone in my questions, concerns, thoughts.  I'm not alone in some of my opinions either.  Although I'd be ok if I were, it's somewhat validating to know from others whom I've come to respect that they too share many of my opinions/concerns.  With that said, I find myself seeking direction as to what to do with regard to those issues that effect my children as well as others' children.  I distinctly remember you and Brenda fighting many battles for the sake of us kids, I guess this is just one of those examples of history repeating itself.  I'm just still unclear of the battle lines, method, and in search of my "Brenda"!  And perhaps it's not my fight.  I've never really been much of a fighter.  This is why I continue to pray and seek guidance.  I am willing to go where I am led.

I've still got a lot of learning to do, a lot of growing to do, but feel better each day about what God is doing in my life.  I'm learning to appreciate the struggles as well as the blessings.

Wishing I could hug you.  I don't know that I'd let go though.  Please continue to watch over us.  We love and miss you a bunch.  I'll talk to you later!
kel

Just a quickie update...

Last blog was re: cheer tryouts.  They happened and in typical Oak Hill cheer tryout fashion.  (although i'm not convinced it's solely a problem at OH)  I won't go into details for a number of reasons but primarily because my daughter has requested I not talk about it.  She'll be cheering Varsity Football again this season.  And for that we are thankful.  She loves to cheer and loves her school and is a true fan!  Perhaps it's an answer to a mostly unspoken prayer that she's not cheering on the sidelines in a uniform during the basketball season.  She will however be in the "O" club cheering on the basketball Eagles.  At least that's how it is for now.  

I've been in contact with the Lady we're hoping to buy our next house from!  What a kind soul.  We as are they anxiously awaiting for all things to fall into place (His timing is perfect and we both know that) so that we can all move.  If the moves goes as planned who knows which school system we'll be enrolled in.  Hoping to remain at Oak Hill, but certainly open to new adventures.

The settlement of moms estate is entering the final stages.  The auction has been held, although there still seems to be a ton of stuff left, stocks have been sold and we're that much closer to paying off debt and diving up assets.  Praying that all will fall into place and that the properties will remain in the family and new beginnings may start.  Eric & Kim have really been 'johnny on it'!  ...me not so much.  Kinda anxious to select a head stone and get it ordered so that it can get placed soon!  My momma would've wanted that.

Kat started her job in full force last week and thus far likes it!  I've had the opportunity to see her in action and I have to admit she seems to do a mighty fine job!  I'm not surprised really, as  I'm not the one running things at Culver's.  lol  The motivation of the almighty dollar.

Follow up appointments are scheduled for later in the month although she's been feeling better (PTL).  This weekend is a celebration with friends for her sweet 16, and the 28th she'll be attending Eastern's Prom with Austin Hochestedler.  She's growing up!

Matt has started golfing with the OH golf club team and really enjoys it.  I predict he'll live on a golf course when he's on his own.  According to the Orthodontist the braces will be coming off soon!  OH MY !!! He looks so grown up as it is I can't imagine what he'll look like with them off.  But I am very anxious for him and to see his new smile! 

So much going on!  so many changes, so many irons in the fire and hopes and dreams are alive!  Thanking My big big God daily for my life and all the promise it holds!  I am blessed!

well, it's tryout time.  and it's about to be interesting.  new faces vying for a spot on the squad and old ones hoping to hang on or perhaps move up.  12 will be chosen for football season and an undetermined number for basketball.  sr's only eligible for varsity, freshman only eligible for freshman squads and sophomores only jv, and juniors either.  kat will be a jr.  she cheered varsity football last year as a sophomore and is hoping to repeat again this year and make the move up from jv to varsity for basketball.  she's talented enough too ....but it's cheerleading, so who knows.  this year selection is suppose to be based on points, with the top 12 taking varsity spots provided they're jr & sr's and then fill the jv positions.  in addition there are to be 5 judges evaluating the girls.  certainly a change from last year and +2 judges from years past. 

as a parent i have my bouts of nervousness for my daughter and the outcome of it all.  yet have strangely felt at peace over the course of the last week and into this one.  i am anxious for it to all be over with.  it's been an interesting lesson for both kat & i as the new coach has taken over.  we both love the sport.  we love the precision of it and the trickiness of it all and coming up with new impressive stunts and knocking a cheer out of the park and really engaging the fans!  kat feeds off of all of that as do many of the girls she's cheered with.  however doing what she loves to do this last year became a challenge as she found herself in a position of not being liked by the coach, perhaps because she has been  seen as a threat, and as a result the sport she once loved more than anything has lost some of its appeal. 

i've encouraged her endlessly over the course of the season to stay the course and not to allow a human road bump to slow her down.  to respect the position of coach no matter who occupies it and to always give 100% and .....something not often modeled, BE HONEST!  it's the honesty that becomes tricky when negative feelings are involved.  which brings me back to ...respect the position. 

many lessons are being taught live this week as the study continues.  God knows the outcome and He will have her right where she needs to be.  when ever we 'tryout' for something we take a risk, and what is life with out a bit of risk.  FAITH will allow her to get through not only risk, but heartache and difficult times.  I believe He wants her to shine shine shine in front of those fans, and who knows....perhaps someone will ask a question that will allow her to answer in such a manner that God receives ALL the glory!  that is my hope for kat as she tries out for cheerleader this week. 

the title of this post...It's Tuesday!

Hello Mr. Obvious, it's Tuesday.  Nothing too special about today.  Just gonna take this time to get some things outta my head.

I was excited that I had a message from Kat this morning.  In addition to buying a biscuit, she bout shoes.  Really expensive shoes she said!  Leaving her enough money for her 1 meal a day (she thinks).  I feel partly responsible for this.  You see the shoes were Lacoste and only sold in Paris thus mandating the purchase.  Some how without having ever purchasing for her any Lacoste items, as they can be hard to come by and expensive, I have managed to share with her my love for ALL things Lacoste thus I'm sure without a doubt causing her to see the value in the shoe and desire to have it!  I've never had nor seen a Lacoste shoe but am sure it's splendid!  (think I'll google a pic as soon as I am done here) Ok, couldn't wait on the google, and no matter the style they're GONNA ROCK!  I can't wait to see them!  *Ahhh the finer things!*

Later today Matt & I are gonna go to the movies!  What a blessing to have time to be with him daily.  I've learned so much about my son.  However, I had to go through pics from 5-10 years ago for Andy and in doing so I noticed (sadly) that as the years passed it seemed as though the joy in my sons eyes did too.  Heartbreaking.  I called Andy in to show him what I was seeing, asked if he noticed it too and he did.  He attributed it to just being a boy and growing up.  I wasn't so convinced.  It really caused my heart to ache.  The upside, I think I see the joy returning.  Matthew is certainly a special young man who is wise beyond his years and probably one of the most gentle tender-hearted young guys I know.  Qualities that can be difficult for his peers to appreciate but will certainly pay-off in life.  He'll be a great husband and father someday for sure!

So glad it didn't freeze last night.  I bought a hanging flower for Moms grave on Sunday and was worried a frost would do it in.  I need to get one for Grandma & Grandpas too!  It seemed weird not to have something on theirs.  Perhaps this weekend.

I get overwhelmed at times when I think about what it would be like with my grandparents still around.  Man would they ever love my kids!  I feel certain that Matthew and my papa Ike would be the best of buddies!  And Kathryn would've been the one to learn how to make grandmas pie crust and noodles.

As I think about the future and reflect on the past of this journey - being a wife and mother, I often find myself giving great consideration to both the past examples and future opportunities.  When it comes to being a wife, I feel as though I'm floundering.  Garnering from examples set I: avoid nagging, arguments, and being the boss.  I take a back seat, offer my opinion and respect his and I love.  When it comes to the mom gig I just try to do what I can and love love love.  It is for sure the easiest and hardest thing to do all in one.  There are many areas in which I feel I've dropped the ball but other areas that I feel I've been quite successful.  I've learned over time that the most important thing for me is to be real and to be real about the things in this life that really matter.  ie, our relationships - with God and each other.

Some times I panic when I think about the years and how they fly by.  There's so much I want to do and do with my family and I feel as though in no time at all it'll be tomorrow and time and opportunity will have fleeted away.  I hate that feeling.  For it was just yesterday or so it seems this journey was just beginning.

Spring has sprung

Well it has happened, my least favorite season...Spring.  And it has come on disguised as Summer!  We did the abnormal 'spring forward' with the changing of the clocks and without fail this left everyone additionally sleepy.  And then it happened.  Record breaking high temps in the mid to upper 80's for over a week!  Temperatures that shattered a 106 yo record!  For the hour lost of sleep Mr. Sun decided to perk everyone up and shine shine shine!

March is flying by.  Kathryn has been in Europe, Paris to be exact for 4 days now!  I've spoken to her once (she bought a biscuit), and creeped endlessly on the pictures she and her schoolmates/tripmates are posting.  If they're smiles are any indication they are having a fabulous time and the weather seems to be beautiful.  And she can check "Paris in the Springtime" off her bucket list if it was on there!  (jealous!  but glad we could send her) In addition Kathryn will be taking on a J O B! when she returns.  She'll be working at Culver's in Marion and is so excited to earn her own cash!  I know the feeling and must admit I miss earning my own also.  When she does return she has a big week ahead of her.  Cheerleading tryouts will take place M-Thurs. with the results on Friday (i assume).  She's hoping to make Varsity for both football & basketball since her group of girls decided to tryout for both.  It's bound to be interesting.  On the 29th while in Heidelberg Germany Kathryn will turn 16!  This will make for her 2nd international birthday! 

Matthew has started a new past time.  Golf.  He'll be a part of the OH golf club team.  And, he loves it.  I am so glad.  I totally don't get it which might be one reason for his growing passion for it, but I do know I'll be supportive of it!  We can officially be done with his schooling soon!  But he has decided, if it's OK with me to start reading the Biology text book I bought for him and to continue doing some math stuff!  I secretly think he's bored!  He'll be returning to public school in the fall.  It was never our intent to home school but as a parent sometimes you have to take a stand, make a statement and sometimes it has to be a dramatic one.  It was an easy choice.....1) it was for my son, & 2) it was the right thing to do.  Preaching intolerance to bulling is one thing, to practice it is another.

Yesterday was a somber one as it would've been my moms 75th birthday.  Golly I miss her a ton.  And this coming Sunday 4/1 will be the auction of my moms estate.  This has all been so emotional.  And like always I keep everything in (for the most part) smile, say it's all OK and go on.  Truth....not so convinced or sure I'm all that OK.  I just don't know.  I wish I knew what/how to feel.  I know I'm off my game because I feel out of touch with me.  Thank goodness for my big God who knows me well.....for I feel as though I'm walking on faith alone.

I'm anxiously awaiting summer.  Not sure why exactly other than I look forward to the time with my kids.  I love and enjoy them so.  I forecast a lot of trips to the golf course and to Culver's this summer.  And if it is to be I'll be setting up house, starting anew in our new home.  My God has this all under control.  Even when I'm mad as a hornet at Him, He manages to gently remind me.....He has a plan.

Well, to day is Monday, Andy is up north for the next few days and today I am doing NOTHING of importance just taking some me time.  Tomorrow, my son is taking me on a date and I think I am having lunch with my Aunt Phyllis, sister-in-law Kim and Betty Hurt in celebration of Kim's 50th birthday that was on Saturday.  A year ago, we were out with mom doing the same.

Times.....they are a changing.

Happy Spring all!  .....I think it's the season to be a little "sprung".

God Bless.
kel

I can only imagine...

I can only imagine what a birthday in heaven is like.  And in doing so many visions come to mind worldly and out-of-this-worldly.  What it must be like to be with those who have gone before and your heavenly Father all together.  I hear a choir of angels singing a rousing rendition of Happy Birthday, and envision the very breath of heaven extinguishing the candles.  My vision goes back and forth from something very animated and sweet as thought it were from the movie Bambi or Snow White, to Mtv's Sweetest, Blingiest birthday bash ever! And is she celebrating number 75 or 1?  I think 1. 

No matter the details I do know today you are without pain.  Today you are not alone.  Today you are remembered here.  Today you are missed. 

If there's food in heaven I hope you're enjoying the finest steak grilled by the master!  If there's a celebration of you in heaven today I hope you know that one day I too hope to join in that celebration.  But since I'm here I'll take today to remember you, privately celebrate you and thank God for you as my Mom, and my friend.

Happy birthday Momma,

I love you loads!  Miss you bunches.

kel

irony....

So i've had my panties justly in a wad recently regarding bullying in our schools. I know I know, it's goes on everywhere and many feel it's just an aspect of life that is to be tolerated or dealt with in the 'suck it up' manner.  Well, I'm intolerant to it and have never been one for sucking it up when it comes to an injustice. 

So here is the irony....

While perusing my FB news feed an ad pops up in the side bar to become friends with Children First at Oak Hill.  Now this is a page that was started just over a year or so ago in response to a referendum being brought to the voters of this community.  And as the name of the page would suggest those who were members of this group (as well as others who were not - myself included in the later) have the best interest of the children/students within our school system.  Well, you know what they say, curiosity killed the cat - right?  So with that in mind I did what any curious person would do and clicked on the group which took me straight to the groups page and wall.  And what do I find you ask?  Post after Post of mistreated, abused ....................




wait for it................








ANIMALS!

Now, in the groups defense, I'm sure they still have the well being of our kids at heart and it's very possible the moderator has been on some sort of a sabbatical or worse hacked.  However, the irony wasn't lost on me.  Rather it caused me to ponder....

What if, at the end of each school day the bullied child returned home, posted their photo along with the photo of the bully and gave a brief description of the hell they endured that day and what was or wasn't done about it. 

I love animals but love people more.  Many are quick to stand up for those beings who don't have a voice, ie a pet, but what about those kids whose voice goes unheard? 

I really feel compelled to do something other than post the random status update, vent to a select group of friends, or blog about it.  It's a problem.  And these kids mean more to me than any job, or public opinion regarding myself.  Bullying is rampant, and wrong.  It affects this community and turning a blind eye and deaf ear to the problem isn't the answer.  People need to be talking about it and calling for a change. 

I'm all for saving a dog or cat but put much more value in the life of a child.

just saying! 

948-5563

Hey Mom,

It's seems like it's been forever!  aaahhhh!  so much going on it seems and well, you know me plan & procrastinate! 

Kim has been AMAZING!  She has worked so hard going through the house!  No way could i have done it!  So much stuff and you know how I hate stuff!  The attic is cleaned out.  I'll never for the life of me understand why the stuff that was up there was kept!  As for the stuff on the main floor well, it's all been divided up and/or sent off to the auction site. 

It was hard.  I didn't like it.  And I miss you terribly.

Matt's birthday is in a few days.  I keep hearing your voice wishing him a happy birthday and asking me what he would like to have.  I'm guessing this year it would be more time with you. 

There's so much going on this week!  It's one that would for sure result in multiple phone calls from me during drive time to & fro and through out the course of my day just to keep me sane. 

We were hoping to have the sale on your birthday but had to push it back a week to April fools day. 

I'm not sure how you'd feel about others buying your stuff.  But I know there was no way Eric & I could have just assumed it all. 

Well, I just wanted to say "hey".  I love you and miss you a ton.

I'll talk to you later.  Feel free to pay me a visit!  :)

The apple and the tree...

Just how far from the tree must the apple fall for individuality to kick in?

So much of our early development comes from what our parents teach us.  Then come those forma-table years when other adults lend their personalities and character to our influences.  Followed by the teen years where we really go in search of ourselves and attempt to establish our personality and character.  And then the real world.

I remember early conversations with my daughter regarding peers and their chosen conduct and specifically remember saying to her "you have to keep in mind they only know what they see, hear and are taught at home.  You need to be the example of how you want to be treated in the manner in which you treat them"  Over and over and over again this conversation took place.  And while giving it I too had to pause and reflect on my own actions, words, reactions to things happening in my world that might be in conflict with what I was telling her.  (gut checks are not fun)

And here we are, in the midst of the teenage years for both of my kids and we have been forced to deal with some really tough situations.  Bullying, lying, meanness, passiveness, apathy, you name it and sadly I'm not just talking from the kids here!  I've seen it from kids and adults.  I've witnessed parents 'in on it' if you will and have heard tales of them also getting in on the ribbing at their children's parties.  It's in those cases that I would say, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. 

Now, to be fair, I'm no saint.  I've spoken derogatorily against others and have come to regret my choice of words and even regretted voicing my thought.  But I have learned, am learning and hope to continue to learn how to deal with life's frustrating people, situations and what not.  What I have not done is made it my pursuit or encouraged my children to pursue the demise of another.  I have with ever bit of my being tried to encourage them to encourage others and get along no matter the situation. 

And then there comes a time when you must take a stand.  .....even if you're all lone.

I am intolerant to bullying and disgusted by passive behaviors toward it.  I am intolerant to spiteful meanness and disgusted by parents who encourage it or are 'unaware' of their child's behavior.  I am intolerant of lies and am disgusted by those who wish to explain them away as though they're ever acceptable, especially when the lie is to ones 'subjects' and spoken in an attempt to cover up sketch decision making.  These are the beliefs that make up the trunk of the tree that is ME. 

Like a tree I have many limbs, many paths and branch out in many different directions.  Like a tree some of my branches, behaviors if you will, are stronger and better than others.  Like a tree I've given off fruit - 2 to be exact and I can only hope that they garner what they need from me to get through this life, make good in this life and make God proud in this life from my trunk.  So that when it falls....in to life, the good, bad and ugly of it, it can re-nourish it's self and rise up again.  I hope my tree's fruit isn't bitter rather better.  Better for the example that I'm trying to set. 

And as we go forward from here decisions have to be made and this year they seem tougher than ever.  As a parent I encourage my kids to take part in the decision making process.  I encourage them to view all aspects, possible results and consequences of their choices.  I've always encouraged them to not quit.  Until now.  Sometimes quitting is necessary.  When the group you're associated with is MEAN and hurtful and there's no end in sight - enough is enough.  When talent walks away perhaps it's what needs to happen to open up eyes to what is really going on. 

Encourage. Encourage. Encourage!  Kindness. Kindness. Kindness.  Two elements when used together can achieve great things!  

What's holding up your tree?  What's the make up of your trunk?  And your fruit...wonderful to you as they are, are not without a blemish.  Can you buff it out?  Or has it began to rot, clear through to the core....and is now attempting to spoil the whole bunch?

I just gotta say...

Last night I took in a high school basket ball game between the Oak Hill Golden Eagles and Northwestern Tigers (?...not sure if they are tigers, but sure it was NW lol)  And what a game!  So good in fact it took 3 extra periods just to wrap it all up.  Although the team I was rooting for didn't come out with the 1 point advantage needed for a W, they experienced many victories on the court and unless they're made of stone, were or will be rewarded with personal victories as well.

Now I'm no coach and I certainly won't profess to be.  I am however a spectator an even more so a fan.  I'd say I'm a fan of the sport, but as I've matured, I find myself being more of a fan of sportsmanship, effort, encouragement, and stick-to-itiveness.  I witnessed each member of both teams playing with all they had.  I'm guessing many are sore, tired, and still mentally exhausted today from their efforts last night.  Two young men fouled out of the game in the OT's, both I believe were seniors.  And for young Mr. Spaulding it would be his last game on his high school court. Bittersweet.  So is the case for all the OH seniors who played last evening and as for the underclassmen, so many lessons to be learned from one game in my opinion. 

Overall it was an all-around effort for a W not just by the players on the court, but also from their bench, O-club, cheerleaders, and even the fans.  Last night can hardly be considered a loss.  When so much was overcome.  Congratulations to the Team, Coaches, and to the Fans.  I don't know about you but I'm excited for some IHSAA sectional action!  Let's go Oak Hill Golden Eagles!

some things

I wonder, how long until we as a society can no longer refer to Fat Tuesday as Fat?

And on that note...

It's been awhile since I've been here so I'm gonna do a bit of catching up on what's been going on in my little world and will undoubtedly throw in a few perspectives here and there.

Kathryn is continuing to meet with Dr.'s to try to determine why her Thyroid is enlarged and why the high level of calcitonin was in the pathology of her gallbladder.  She had a series of blood work done and result after result brought about good news and a more optimistic outlook!  PTL.  I attribute it all to God and the amazing prayer warriors in our lives.  She'll meet with a geneticist in March and an Endocrinologist at Riley.  As I think back on the whole process I can clearly see Gods hand in every aspect of what she's gone through.  From the Dr.'s, Lab personnel, timely service and diligent service.  He knows me well and that I am not patient when it comes to service from a hospital and He knows I fail at asking the necessary questions.  As a result, Kate received, at each visit, prompt service, and the consultations with the doctors were quite informative!  And get this, not once but twice the Endocrinologist from Dukes, Dr. Collie called me personally to relate Kathryn's lab results to me.  Yes indeed there are Dr.'s who still do that.  Who knew!  :)
As of now we are in a holding pattern.  Soon we will have the answers we were in search of.  In the mean time continued prayers would be greatly appreciated. Oh, I almost forgot, she had her Valentines formal and she looked beautiful.

Matt is doing well with his homeschooling.  Deciding to withdraw him from Oak Hill Jr. High school was one of the easiest and scariest decisions I've ever made.  Easiest because it was in my son's best interest.  Scariest because I don't want to fail him.  I have been reminded, daily how blessed I am to have been able to make such a decision.  God allowed me to work in that building for 4 years.  Not as a sub as I had been doing but rather as a permanent employee.  He opened my eyes to a myriad of situations, personalities, behaviors that ultimately solidified many questions I had swirling around in my head.  My eyes were opened to situations that were whispered about within this community and consequently a part of my heart was saddened.
Being at the Junior High and having sat in every class/subject in the 8th grade I was familiar, with what I needed to get across.  I didn't become a professional educator during that time but looking back I realize now the time spent there and my purpose were defined.
In the first week working with Matthew I came to realize he has incredible!!! recall.  This explains his boredom with homework and time spent with other students as the subject matter was hammered home.  I've learned that he doesn't like processes, writing out a critical thought, and he likes things to "flow" if you will.  He enjoys creative writing, is a sponge when it comes to reading, and is an excellent test taker.  I've realized that he needs to work on finding a way to 1) deal with the 'process' of learning that takes place in the classroom setting and not lose his focus.  2) rise above the ignorance of others.
The primary reason behind my withdrawing him wasn't due to an academic issue, rather bullying.  Bullying at all levels.  While Oak Hill Jr. High may not have a zero tolerance policy, I do.  And as I signed out my son on that Tuesday in January, I was half way through the double doors when I stopped, walked back into the school to see if the large banner that hangs across that hall that houses the classrooms, still hung and it did.  And for your information that banner states this "stand up for what is right even if you stand alone".  Upon seeing that, the confidence that I had in my decision grew leaps and bounds.

*side note:  I find it concerning as a parent, taxpayer, and at the core of it all a person - no matter how you choose to define me, that NOT ONE inquiry has been made from any Administrator as to WHY my son was withdrawn.  A young man who was involved with athletics, was solid academically, wasn't a disciplinary issue, who was well liked, and whose parents didn't move out of the system, was just removed.  I've heard for over 7 years that Oak Hill schools are experiencing a decline in enrollment.  I've seen promotional videos and read pamphlets designed to entice new students into the system, yet when one of their own leaves not an eye is batted, no concern registered, not to his parents.  Can the system afford this?  I know for fact Matthew was not the only jr. high student withdrawn, for my phone rang off the hook for the first 2 weeks after our decision to withdraw him. As a parent, community member, a person - this is concerning to me and should be to you also.  Oak Hill is a fine system academically, and has that data to back up such a claim, kudos to those teachers who get the job done...academically. But to the administration...I am saddened, deeply saddened.   **this is an opinion based on my personal experience. 

This month on Valentines day to be exact my brother and his wife celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary.  Not sure when exactly I realized it was to be their silver celebration, but when I did all I could think about was that mom would insist on some sort of recognition.  Because operating in a timely manner and my inability to adhere to deadlines, I knew getting something in the paper so that it would run at the appropriate time was out of the question.  So, I planned (kinda) in my spontaneous manner a rather impromptu gathering of family and friends.  In the process....as the proverbial ball was in motion, it was brought to my attention that my sis-in-law isn't a fan of surprises.  OOPS!  :/  So, I changed up a bit of the plan, cut back the guest list and threw an anniversary party for my brother!  lol  : )  Problem solved, crisis averted!  Kim and Eric were surprised, and appreciative.  However, not nearly as appreciative as I am to have them as Sis & Brother.  Words, parties, surprises, etc...cannot express how thankful I am for the two of them.  I'd be a fart in the wind through this entire process if it weren't for them.  Thanks, Kim & Eric....I love you both!

As it is with the first of the year, Andy has been gone a lot.  January always brings about a national sales meeting somewhere and like clockwork it falls on his 'home' week.  Therefore it's safe to say communication is strained, tensions are high, and  factor in the number of potential problems winter can have in store, and being a one man do-it-all-yourself kinda guy, January & February have been nuts.  The up side, is I have a sense of humor!  Am laid back enough for the two of us and F.R.O.G.

Kathryn's cheer-leading wraps up tonight (i think) as we play our last regular season game tonight against Northwestern.  I got my boobs squished today, first time since 2003.  And in a week and a day my least favorite month will be over!  March madness is around the corner, as are birthdays and spring breaks!  And I'm holding out hope that in typical March fashion we'll get PUMMELED with a snow storm!  :)  That would make me happy and send this winter out with a bang!

And now for the tidbits....
Have a sense of humor     Practice tolerance/acceptance     Take a stand      Have a voice 
Make a difference    Have some Faith     Feel     Cry when you feel like it     Be NICE! 
And last but not least, Don't argue with a fool....someone may overhear and not be able to tell who's who!

HAPPY FAT TUESDAY!
Loving my BIG BIG God today & always!