Summer...just a few weeks early

Wow have we had some hot beautiful days. It sure doesn't take this little state long to heat up! Now I do love the sun and it's warmth however I could do with out the humidity. It's been that way for me my entire life, perhaps a relocation is in order. What a busy time of year! School is coming to an end :) Memorial Day weekend is approaching and graduation open houses are being held not to mention the annual Swayzee Rummage. (fyi...there's got to be a better time for the rummage!)

As the year winds down my kids are just going through the motions. I don't remember a time when everyone has been so OVER school. The state has decided that our children need to be in the classroom 180 days to have a proper education however I'm not convinced of that. Pretty much they've all checked out! Not to mention the MIA teachers. Oh well...this too shall pass.

Yesterday I had lunch with my friend Heather. It was nice to go out, eat, & laugh. good times... I'm pretty sure I need to do that more often. Andy is still gone ...oh how I miss him when he doesn't come home. Work was crazy...next to nothing until 7p.m. then we filled up! I didn't get home until well after 11. (we close at 9:30) It was so hot and humid at the Chuck - temp set at 64 degrees and it never fell below 83!

I have our end of the year kids hope party today. I'm so glad it's going to be over. I'm realizing I like endings. With that said I'll end this entry!

Todays Love List is....

the sunshine
doggies
squirrels scampering up the tree
my son & his clean ears
my daughter and her eye roll
phone calls from my husband
mexican nachos with a friend
tips
laughter
the promise of tomorrow
end of the school year!!!!!!!!
air conditioning
a good salad
coke
ice cold water
our cat's meow
a new white t-shirt!

the love of a parent...

So here's my take. For as complicated as love is it is in its simplest form when you become a parent. From the moment your baby is born the very instant you lay eyes upon your child it is love. Love, simple and pure, uncomplicated, unconditional, automatic love. It doesn't necessarily mean your love for your partner is greater, deeper or more solid. The child isn't a band-aid for life, love and adult relationships. It's just a child, a part of you and another who if you're the parent suddenly consumes your heart.

Now I can only speak of my personal experiences regarding the birth of my babies who are now 12 & 14 years old. And I can honestly say my love for them has grown daily. Who would've thought it possible. They have made me laugh and cry. They've brought joy & disappointment. They have angered me, sadden me and at the same time brought about a happiness I never thought I would know or imagined existed.

As a child, teen and adult I had many different feelings regarding my own parents. I adored my father and struggled to find an appropriate feeling for my mother. Growing up she had my brother and I had dad. In return from my parents I felt everything from loved and adored by one to tolerated at best by the other. My self often feeling as though I didn't belong with my own family. I questioned it so often it became kind of a family joke. It's not a joke. I'm not adopted. I have to admit my feelings are mixed on this fact.

At this point in my life my relationships with my parents are....not what I would call ideal. I accept my part in them being what they are. What I don't get is how a parent ....chooses not to parent. How do you stop being involved. How do you stop? How do you allow others to replace the original? The child learns to love. It doesn't come into this world automatically loving rather it comes in needing. Love is taught by our parents. With that said, I feel extra blessed to have been able to love and be loved. I feel like I've conquered something.

These are just my opinions, takes, whatever...questions, feelings and all that good stuff. I get sad at times for what I don't have. And the memories of what once was are fading and often just don't even seem real. I'm still trying to figure out some parts and how to cope with one of the relationships and my part in it while feeling a complete and total loss with the other. I wonder if my parent feels the same? But the answer becomes clear with each day that passes without any contact. And with today's technology that hurts even more.

I'm so lucky to be a parent. To Love and be loved by my children I can only be excited for the days that lay ahead and the chance to love them even more.

Mid-May

5/19/10

9 school days and counting! ready for 6th grade to be history and trying to prepare myself for the dawn of High School...FOR MY DAUGHTER! UGH I anticipate this summer being one that is out of the ordinary. In the past we've spent many weeknights and weekends at the ball park. This summer Matt is not playing baseball rather he's chosen to focus on improving his basketball skills. He'll have a couple of camps and many open gyms I just hope he stays focused and encouraged! He really enjoys it. Kate doesn't have much planned. Unfortunately there's yet to be a cheer coached hired at the Varsity level therefore no plans have been made for the squads to attend camps as they have in years past. I'm not sure why her coach hasn't signed up the freshman squad...who knows. Kate's summer camp experience will be a bit different this year. This is the 1st summer in 4 years that she's not going on a work camp trip. She'll be attending a camp at Epworth called THAT THING. The focus is on taking "churched" kids deeper in their relationship with Christ and empowering them to stay focused through their teens. She's excited as am I.

We've had many rainy days recently. And the temperatures have really dropped off. ick. I'm ready for May to be over with and am looking forward to June. It's sure to be a chaotic month, but I tend to enjoy that a bit. On the agenda...IN/KY allstar game featuring Oak Hill's own Miss Indiana Basketball Courtney Moses, basketball/football camp, VBS, town rummage and continued remodeling. Andy has made quite a bit of progress at the Amboy house it's gutted...now for the clean up & refinishing. What a project. Can't wait to bust out kitchen, walls, floors here! it's so exciting, what will be.

That's all for now, just a quick post on "stuff". Anxious for warmer weather!.

Someday I hope to....

grandparent
enjoy a big family
start traditions
have a clean house
be done remodeling
make someone happy
attend the Macy day parade
take a cruise
tour europe & south america
snow ski
make a difference
inspire
become a morning person
never have to rely on an alarm clock


* i will continue to add to this list...undoubtedly!

the day after Mothers Day....

Perhaps I'm to blame. There are certain Holidays I look forward to celebrating. I like the meaning behind them. But the celebration needs to be done properly. It's not about getting to host the event. It's not about the who the holiday was spent with last year. I like that at Christmastime weather you're a follower of Christ or not you're aware that there is a large number of people who choose to celebrate the birth of their savior. I like that at Thanksgiving our country reflects on the blessings that have come our way because our ancestors were brave and persevered. I enjoy the 4th of July. Again a holiday that celebrates our successful break from England to become our own nation! (not to mention my birthday) Easter is another favorite. Again the focus is on my RISEN Savior.

The other holidays are just sub par if you ask me. Valentines day to celebrate love, Mothers day to celebrate moms, Fathers day to celebrate dads, St. Patrick's day to celebrate....???? New Years day not much of a celebration but rather a kick off of a new year as I see it love should be celebrated daily if your lucky enough to give/receive it. As far as mom's & dad's go, why must we be told or strongly suggested to celebrate them? Myself, a mom included.

As a mother I'd much rather have my children sing my praises on a generic day. There's something about the unprompted hug, kiss, "thanks mom" that means so much more than receiving those sentiments on a nationally recognized day. Having my husband thank me for being his wife, helpmate, and mother to his children on a non mom holiday means far more to me.

Now, some might think that this post is prompted by a not so great Mothers day for mwah. And that's debatable. My daughter wished me a Happy day and posted something very kind on my Facebook. For her this was quite exceptional. Like her father she's not one to show much emotion. I spent mothers day doing the following, church with my in-laws, dinner at the country club, visiting at their home & then returned home with my family. As I sat in church I thanked God for my mother-in-law, for with out her I wouldn't have been blessed with my husband and consequently with my children. I also thanked God for blessing me with motherhood. If you would've asked me in my early years I would've said no to the whole marriage & kids thing. His plan was definitely better.

Now for my personal struggle...celebrating the parents. My parents. I give thanks to them because I'm here. But I struggle in many of what should be other areas for thanking and appreciating parents. I hate that I have this battle and pray that someday it will be resolved. God can do all things.

As I embark on a new path for my life I hope to find a bit of success at being a mom. I've managed a bit of success in many other avenues of my life but none have been more important than the one that I've decided to concentrate on and that is being Mom and Wife. Soon that will be my only job. My sole focus. Certainly a job I don't want to fail at. I am thankful for the other examples that have been given to me. Hopefully with all I've been through, witnessed and experienced I'll find a bit of success along the way. God called me to this and His plan is perfect. And I thank him for my blessing...Kathryn & Matthew!

Happy today! to everyone.

Well today is the National Day of Prayer. Ironically in our youth studies we're discussing Prayer and it's purpose. I'm not a fancy smancy prayer. My words are simple as they reflect my heart. I don't know if God prefers fancy over simple, I hope not. I really never realized how awkward some people feel about praying. I know there've been times when I've prayed allowed and felt as though I've stumbled all over myself. I tend to send up spontaneous prayers. I talk to God all throughout the day giving thanks for the beauty around me, my family, and for the many blessings He has bestowed on me. I also expresses the areas I feel weak in and need His intervention, grace, love or just His presence. I'll have cares pop into my head for friends and family that I lift up not to mention the requests for prayer from friends, acquaintances, family for a specific situation. I don't have an alter in my home. I'm so ADD I feel challenged to be quiet for to long meditating and conversing with God. My mind just doesn't shut down. I'm not sure what's right or wrong but I feel assured God knows my heart. So I challenge you like I did our youth to pray. Talk to your Creator. Awkward, eloquent, thankful, or broken I encourage you to establish a relationship a conversation with the Almighty invite him in and to hang out with you today. :) God is good, all the time! God is good!!

What a beautiful start to May we've had here in Swayzee! Gorgeous sunny days. Cool gentle breezes. And spring storms that have seem to be just right. I don't know when I've seen skies so blue. I picked up some seeds at our local Big R and can't wait to get them into the ground...or rather for them to produce their promised bounty so that I can't enjoy!

I feel I've become a bit of a food critic. I'm not surprised really as it's a habit that the Van Ness men have had for as long as I can remember. It's become such a part of the make up of our family that it's somewhat humorous. When Matthew was 9 he walked uptown to go to the convenience store for a doughnut. I was beginning to get worried as it was taking him much longer than I thought necessary. Just as I was leaving to go in search of, he came in through the front door and proceeded to give a full review a the "new" place in town Socials Cafe. It had just reopened. Come to find out the eggs & toast were "really good" but the milk, not so much. He would've like to have tried some of the other items but Milk, Eggs & Toast were all he had money for. He liked the new interior decor stating it felt "homey" and "the white paint make it really bright & clean". It came highly recommended as a breakfast spot. I couldn't help but chuckle at him and the details & critiques he was offering up. Not to mention the image of him sitting there, all by himself at age 9. I'm grateful CPS wasn't called in. lol! Well, as many know I work at a local restaurant call the Chuck Wagon. It's a pizza joint located in Swayzee, IN. I was introduced to the Chuck Wagon shortly after it opened 21 years ago. I've been a fan of their pizza ever since. I'm a fan of pizza! (understatement) It's a safe food in my opinion. There's been a bit of debate in this little area of the state called Grant County about who serves up the best pizza in the county. The local paper has a ballot inside their periodical every year. And the process is a write in process as opposed to a choose from the following scenario. I challenge the results. Brooks' Upper Crust was awarded best Pizza in the county. I've dinned there many times and it's been pretty good. But! The Chuck Wagon pizza has more flavor. Recent experience at Brooks entailed a pizza that was 1/2 deluxe and 1/2 Hawaiian. The layer of cheese was about 1/8" thick, solid leaving the ingredients underneath luke warm. It was lacking in sauce and the sauce that was on it just didn't have any kind of 'kick'. Zero Italian flare rather just tomatoey. Two days later we went to a new pizza joint in a neighboring town. I was told the pizza would be similar to an "Arnies" pizza or Pizza Kings. This pizza was good but almost seemed to be in a separate category. We ordered the large Deluxe. This large was 14" and the deluxe was make up of 5 toppings: cheese, chunky Italian sausage, chopped pepperoni, onion & green peppers all for $17.99. Now the price & size alone was a bit of a shock & disappointment. Very expensive from what I've experienced at other pizza joints. The pizza itself was a thin crust. It was also "thin" if you will on the toppings and sauce. It was good but far short of great. I have to give the award for value,
toppings, taste to the Chuck Wagon. With little to no advertising and 21 years in the business they're doing it right. If you know of a pizza place anywhere in the state let me know I'd love to try it out! Actually any place that offers up great cuisine. I'm always up for a road trip & good food!

Demo has started at our house in Amboy! Word on the street is it should be done by the end of June...2010 I hope! lol. Kids are well, Andy is good and I'm ... pretty ok to for the most part. Just working through things in my head & heart. Decisions are not my forte'! I pray for clarity and strength to make the best decision.

Hopefully soon I'll be posting updates & pictures on our home remodel. I am so excited to get it going full swing. I've asked that it all be done by September! A very ambitious goal but doable with HIRED HELP! (please let there be hired help! lol) The plan: wall down in family room, making a great room, restroom full remodel, 2 walls down in kitchen & widen door way into kitchen from family room, NEW kitchen!!!! :), new flooring in dining room, living room, office, new carpet stairway & upstairs hall & game room, upstairs hall re plastered, bathroom shower repaired, laundry relocated upstairs, closets built. Not to mention all new windows and possibly central air! A long long long list but I feel once the ball is rolling it'll get done! I have FAITH! now all I need is a carpenter.
tee hee hee!

So enjoy your day. Thanks for reading and don't forget to say a prayer! Feel free to include me in that prayer for my decision making and projects!

Good Morning Sunshine....

What a beautiful sunny morning! So refreshing after an "ok" nights sleep. I prefer to wake up to the sounds of birds chirping and even the occasional barking dog. However, I've got to say the obnoxiously loud sound of my neighbors car idling for 15 +/- min. is a bit unpleasing. But a smile crept across my face as it eventually drove away. =)

I do wish I was a morning person. I feel that the simplicity of the morning would be so calming and inspiring. The sounds of nature awakening are pleasing and abundant and the sounds of life as we know it are minimal. There's such a sense of calm. If only I were a morning person. Instead I begrudgingly roll out of bed tend to bladder issues, mine & the dogs' and begin the process of trying to motivate people to "get up & get at it" all the while I myself have sunken into the recliner wishing I too could still be in bed. Confession: I AM NOT the best motivator in the morning! Needless to say, getting me to engage in any other task in the morning is next to impossible.

So, just wondering...is there anyone besides me that is in touch with their inner child? Or am I all alone? This thought came to me as I was leaving the restaurant with Andy this morning. He was lagging behind so he could pay the bill. I was in the parking lot...kicking rocks. After having kicked a few around I looked around and thought to myself..."I'm pretty sure I've been the only 43 year old in this parking lot this morning kicking rocks" lol. It made me smile. I like my inner kid! who more times than not is an "outtie". I've got to admit I'm a bit like Peter Pan. I don't want to grow up. I've met several grown ups and observed them and I'm just not convinced it's the way to go. The laughter has lessened the seriousness has increased and for most simple fun just doesn't exist. I love to laugh, being too serious gives me a headache and I don't want to do it if there isn't going to be any fun.

So, I found out this morning that Andy has taken the next 2 days off tear apart our house in Amboy. Crews are lined up to assist in this project. Here's to hoping they are productive and get a lot accomplished. Remodeling 2 houses at the same time is NOT fun! Much prayer will be needed for patience & grace just to get us through this process. Since he was home we went to Socials for breakfast, another date. He told me I spent to much on breakfast Saturday morning and asked if I could cut back. lol. I informed him that I was preparing to eat up some left overs when he invited me out, that my left overs were FREE and if he wanted my company he shouldn't put limitations on it. He then offered to just buy me coffee & I could walk on home and enjoy my left overs. hahahahaha! I love that guy, & it's a good thing! FYI: I altered my usual order to fit with in the parameters of our budget. That my friends is the give & take of a relatively healthy marriage, in my opinion. (side note: it's that darn extra crispy bacon that puts me over! if only they offered meat with the omelet)

Well, thanks for stopping by. If you have recently experienced a "kid moment" perhaps you'd like to share. If not, I challenge you to find your inner kid & reconnect! Feel young again!
& Have a happy first Monday in May!

Not all was lost....

(Recap) Plan: Thursday 4/29....attend my first ever Vera Bradley Factory Sale in Ft. Wayne.
Actual day: Visited my mother-in-law in hosp. instead because the VB facebook page kept reporting ridiculous lines!
***Remember, I'm not a HUGE fan I just wanted to attend the madness once this lifetime.

Plan: Friday 4/30....Pick Kathryn up from school and go to Vera Bradley Sale.
Actual afternoon event: Drove all the way up to Ft. Wayne and within 1 mi of the Sale heard the announcement that the line had been cut off for the day. **RECORD BREAKING NUMBERS IN ATTENDANCE** "please return Saturday at 8 am or Sunday at 10 am." NEVER MIND! So, we shopped at Borders Books and the scrapbook place in the mall. Kate tried on some fancy dresses, and then we ate at Applebee's. In case you didn't notice...NOT THE PLAN! LOL There's always next year. Right?

On a brighter note, today was a beautiful day. We were in the mid 80's and had a wonderful breeze to keep the air moving. I enjoyed the time with Kate! We rocked out on the way home. Between the two of us we knew every song and its lyrics that played all the way home! Fun Fun Fun! Had to have a conversation today with Matt regarding his grades. Certainly not his best work in a couple of his classes. He is so DONE. Golly that boy is so much like me! He just does NOT get along with his homeroom teacher (to say the very least). I feel they have a mutual disdain for each other. He's a tricky one to discipline/motivate. Like me, if I come down too hard on him he'll completely shut down because that he has control over. He doesn't care what punishment comes his way...1) it'll eventually come to an end. 2) he knows we'll suffer along with him 3) he's in school 7 hours a day surrounded by friends so the hours at home where the punishment is enforced is minimal. When disciplined at school is favorite place to be sent is the office. According to him you can find out all kind of things while sitting in the office. ISS...even better! he loves loves loves the solitude of it! He doesn't have to deal with the his homeroom teacher & "any of the other idiots that are there". UGH! So, I opted for a pleasant tone, asked him what solution he had for the low marks and encouraged him to "shut up" the teacher who is causing him so much frustration by improving his marks, giving 110%..."that'll show her"! She's managed to convince him he's not worthy of being in the accelerated class...he's not as "good" as the other kids...& that he's just not as smart as any of them! (sweet huh?! NOT) I think he bought into it. I certainly hope so. Only 4.5 more weeks left of 6th grade! Past experiences I've witnessed has been the students that the 6th grade teachers don't particularly care for tend to be well received at the jr. high! ....Let's hope so! He & I both are so ready for him to be inspired, encouraged, accepted, challenged and lifted up. Needless to say, prayers are needed and appreciated. He's such a good kid and really needs a TEACHER to believe in him.

So, as you've read...just another day of rolling with the punches! At least I didn't suffer any at the hands of a crazed purse lady! Since attending this event is on my bucket list of things to do I hope to have the opportunity NEXT year.

Later!

mission...NOT accomplished....oh well

Well, for starters ...It's a beautiful day! :) love love love the sunshine. The plan was to go to my very 1st Vera Bradley Factory sale. Thanks to a Facebook update from a friend I find myself right here...blogging. Now, I'm really not a Vera fan. I do like some of her stuff but have to admit I really don't get the hype. But being from Indiana and living in such close proximity to her factory I really feel it's something, as a woman, I should experience at least once in my life time. And today was gonna be it. Oh well. The best laid plans are often improved upon. I believe it's more of a God thing rather than disturbances from this world :)(ahhhh the power of positive thinking!) So, as it is I'm sure to have more fun when I do go because I'll be able to attend with one of my VERY favorite people...KATHRYN MARY VAN NESS. I'm sure there are hazards to exposing her to such chaos at a young age but, it's a risk I'm willing to take. Her way in the distant future husband might object should an obsession develop but hey, what can I say. I pretty much live in the here & now. (hee hee) She's unaware of the change in plans & will be stoked I'm sure.

I'm asking for prayers today for my friend Dawn Staggs & my mother in law Emma Jean Van Ness. Dawn & I go way back and today she's really been on my mind. She's battling Breast cancer. If ever there was anyone with a fighting spirit it's her. She's a mother of 3 and very active. Please pray for her & her family as they go through all of this. Emma Jean is having surgery today. She'll spend the night in the hospital and then of course recovery. Don't for get to lift up Ed...as he'll be tending to her. ;P (thanks for praying with me)

So, it happened last night. A moment I was pretty sure would NOT happen to me. In the presence of some teens I was eating my supper & over heard their conversation and I thought to my self..."what idiots"! "Do they really think they know more than the adult that has been professionally trained to educate them?" ...It's official...I'm an old adult. UGH! I'm still processing the whole thing, because I'm not a fan of such thoughts! lol

Well, I'm excited because Andy comes home tonight. I'm looking forward to hearing what Brose McVey has to say about his run for congress AND I don't work again until next Wednesday. (that just occurred to me) YAY!

And now for some of my favorites: sunshine...laughter...hope & possibility...the smell of chocolate chip cookies baking...nachos Mexicanos...a good book (thanks to marsha vermilion)..."hey mom!"...facebook chat...kisses from andy...hugs from kate & matt...
...Giving a big thanks to God for all of those things.

Here's to a great day...now lets get at it!

The to do list...

finish our house remodel
take a cruise
start doing some REAL scrapbooking
spend time reconnecting with old friends
be a more available mom & wife
join a small group...of adults :)
grow spiritually...i need fired back up!
reds game with family
macy parade
horse & buggy ride through central park
snow skiing
europe...as much of it as possible
rv vacation


...additions sure to be published at a later date

Wednesday...The last one in April 2010

Tuesday was a beautiful day. There was a chill in the air but the sun was shining. I'm not a huge fan of spring the mud, rain, the over all slop of it all...ick! However I've made an observation over the course of this spring, and that is just how beautiful the colors have been! All the blooms seem to be heightened with color. The grass is exceptionally green. Even the dirt has pretty shades blended into it. God definitely has quite the eye for color. I praise him for the sight to see.

The day started off in the Dr. office for a blood test for Kathryn. She doesn't have mono, rather bout number 12343857896 of bronchitis for the school year. I'm thankful my daughter is a good student because she's missed 24 days this school year. It's been the worst year ever. She cannot have a repeat as she enters high school in the fall. Andy is working up north this week and will be home Thursday for the Brose McVey event at our church. He does enjoy his politics. Matt is just going with the flow! Xbox live + no homework (istep week) = one happy boy! not to mention every 3 o'clock bell = one day closer to the end of the school year. Funny, the kids and I both are always so excited for the start of the new school year and the potential it holds but MAN! we are always so ready for it to come to an end.

Today, Wednesday (4/28) is off to a cold start but the promise it hold is unlimited. Matt is off to school. Kate is home, again. I'm meeting with our children's minister for a lunch date and hopefully some productive brainstorming.

I'm working through some decisions of my own. I can certainly use prayers for clarity in my decision making process.

So excited...I'm attending for the first time the Vera Bradley Factory Outlet sale. I've heard of the chaos and great deals. I'm not a huge fanatic however am open to being swayed. She's came up with some new prints and styles that I do find appealing. I can't wait to be a part of the madness.

The month of may is lurking...I'm looking forward to it. So hard to believe that the year is almost 1/2 over. WOW time does fly when your having fun... or just getting older. Regardless we've so much to do and get accomplished in just a few short months. So hope my dream comes true.

Here's to a fab day! May you enjoy all of God's blessings.

We gather together

We gather together and share the Lords Blessings.

On Sunday the 25th we gathered with the Van Ness' at Uncle Ralph's. It's always good to get together with family. It was a bitter sweet gathering this time. Sweet to be with everyone and see the newest additions, Charolette & Harper, bitter as Pam & Ann were without their loves, Neal & Rick Van Ness. We could've been celebrating Neal's birthday instead we celebrated one another and just enjoyed the time visiting. Ralph ordered Chinese and desserts and sodas were carried in. In attendence were: Ralph & Elly, her daughter & son-in-law, Ed & Emma Jean, Valda & Dave, Nason, Sara, Allison & Harper, Zach & Julia & Charolette, Pam & Al & Sharon, Ann, and Us. What an enjoyable group and a blessed family. It was a room full of blessings, perseverance and promise. We are a blessed & thankful bunch.

Summit place is the name of the facility were Ralph is currently residing. It's a very nice assisted living place. He reserved the upper game room for our gathering. After all had finished eating another resident wondered into the room. Dressed in her gray sweat suit she took a seat beside me at a table and just sat there for a brief time. We were all laughing and having conversation and I guess she just decided to join in. Ruth is her name. I had gotten up to offer her some pie and when I returned when she was gone. She had taken her seat just outside the open doors in a chair that looked into the game room. This is where she remained until the end of our gathering.

Now I'm the type of person who feels everyone has a story. And Ruth was no exception. According to Ralph, she had a best friend at Summit place who had recently passed away. Ever since her friends passing she has been lost. How sad. I wish she had stuck around and enjoyed some pie and conversation. It would've been nice to have seen Ruth leave with a smile on her face if only for a moment. Instead she just sat outside and watched.

Our next gathering is for sometime in July as Sam, Michelle & Maisie will be here. Emma Jean told me she'll be having surgery on thursday of this week. It appears that thursday will be the eventfull day this week as EJ's surgery will take place, kate has a track meet, and Brose McVey will be speaking at our church. Packed from sun up to sun down. Sounds like the makings for a good day.

Today is a dreary day. Gray, muddy, wet, and cool. ICK! Kate returned to school. Thankfully she's feeling better. I was gonna call the Dr. but think I'll hold out now that she appears to be on the mend.

Andy & I had a date night saturday. Over all the entire saturday was a good day. Andy, Kate & I went to IHOP for breakfast. I of course had a philly steak sandwich. haha. After we went to Wal-mart. It had been a while since we shopped in there since Meijer came to Marion. Kate and I had several chuckles as with little to no effort we found many people who could be featured on peopleofwalmart.com. After we arrived home andy did some work at the house in Amboy and I napped (lol). I then took Kate tanning and when we returned home Andy & I left for our date! We went to Applebee's for dinner and ran into good friends Sherri & Brian Farley so we joined them for our meal. After dinner we were off to the movie. We watched Date Night. Hilarious! I've come to the conclusion that if Gene Shcallet (sp?) doesn't like the movie, then I will love it. I'm a huge fan of laughter and love to hear it and this movie had the entire theater laughing. I was still chuckling the next day. I love my guy! I am so enjoying this journey we're on together.

Well folks, today (& everyday) I ask for you to be prayerful for our kids in school, teachers, this great country of ours. On a more personal level for my brother-in-law and his search for a career, mother-in-law's surgery, my mom, and I'll be selfish and ask for a few prayers of my own. I need a kick in the pants and a whole lot of motivation to get accomplished all that needs to be done so that we can fully start this remodeling project. And it's all on me! Thanks in advance for those.

May God bless this week and may you recognize His great works and know He is God! May you gather together with love ones and share the Lords' blessings.

:) kel

you're mistaken....but thanks for nothing!

so, i made an inquiry regarding summer scheduling for camps only to get blasted with a rambling response regarding allegations! really!. I didn't respond to the individual actually just deleted her response. (ahh the power of delete) BUT it, unfortunately frustrated me. if it were directed at me so be it. also know this....you're mistaken. i alleged nothing. i did however comment what was shared with me by those you "coached*" (*term used loosely) more times than not girls expressed their disappointment with the way THEIR year was going and sadly, many times you & yours were given all the credit. any allegations were not mine but experiences of those who endured the time.

the entire experience has been based on "allegations". my dismissal was also due in part to your "allegations".

i endured comments YOU made regarding your co-coach in her absence, personal bias good/bad towards members of the team or those trying out. i didn't allegedly witness this i experienced it.

my downfall...i don't like conflict. i should've told you in the instant that i thought you were out of line. i should've been up front that part of my description of professionalism on a job was honesty...with those i worked with, coached, and their parents. if they system can't handle the honesty then perhaps the system is flawed in some way; i know i am. i give others (too often) the benefit of the doubt. you're entitled to your opinion. what you're not entitled to is chastising others for not sharing in that opinion. you want respect yet don't seem to give it. you have a lot of growing up to do, in my opinion.

you're talented and certainly had a lot to offer. but for some reason bitterness brought about from who knows what seemed to be the dominate force. the time has past & in this case a do over isn't an option. it's unfortunate.

just another wednesday...

it's a blessing things have turned out the way they have in my life. funny how when your young you fight so hard to keep some things together only to ultimately realize they weren't at all worth the time of effort. lesson: ability to appreciate what i have been blessed with. i hope i can pass along the lessons learned to my own children. i hope i can do it in such a manner that they don't make the same mistakes i have.

it's wednesday the 21st of April. wow where does the time go? i can't believe how quickly time flies as you get older. after returning home from a fun weekend i found myself in a low place of ick. not really sure why...can't pin point any particular reason for the blah's but needless to say they've gotten a hold on me. (devil be gone!) i've so much to be thankful for i feel even that much more guilty for feeling this way. prayer...i need it and need to be in it. i know the up and coming months are going to be beyond hectic but so be it!

just returned from taking kate to dr...good news she doesn't have strep!

today is beautiful outside. highs today in the 70's. wish i was able to be home the entire day just to enjoy it in it's entirety.

if you're reading this i'm going to be selfish and ask for prayers. not sure what exactly to pray for other that peace and clarity. thanks in advance.

not the plan...

well the weekend was an enjoyable one and seemed to go rather quickly. however i feel as though last week was one of the longest ever. it was a different experience for me hanging with the 5/6th graders. what a great group. makes me even more excited for when they move up to jr/sr high youth group.

personally i had some interesting realizations. i realized that waterparks are just a bit more fun with family. and it made me miss having mine there together. and i was surprised that matt didn't really want much to do with me...at all. this was only the 2nd time i had went with him on anything and he really managed to keep his distance. knowing kate had arrived home sunday morning made me that much more anxious for us to arrive home ourselves. i was so looking forward to being together as a family and sharing adventures. oh, how hopes can be shattered. i never in a million years would've thought that the evening would gone as it did. my son informed us he didn't like us, didn't like living with us, didn't like anything about coming home and THAT was the reason for his bad mood. he really hurt his father and it just made me sick. i've always tried to not disregard how anyone in my family says they feel. i know that there are times we say things we don't mean. however feelings from somewhere prompted the emotion that allowed the words to come out. Do i think he truly dislikes me or his father or his home...NO. if so, he wouldn't want to come here for lunch. he wouldn't rush home after school. needless to say after a looooooong conversation, initiated by him, the evening was not the homecoming i had envisioned and was not at all enjoyable.

today is a new day...
everyone is up & out of the house and i just want to sleep. so much needs to be done and i'm experiencing a downer. ugh! the sun is shining, that's a plus.

hellooo friday! from a chubby chick!

wow what a beautiful day! woke up alone this morning as all were away last night! Kate is touring our nations capitol. The bus ride there has been eventful as they experienced a flat tire early thursday morning after having traveled all night. She called to tell me they were on the road again AND she had left her phone charger at the burger king that they were at during the repair process. ugh! luckily i was able to locate a verizon store 2 blocks from her hotel and they are shipping over a charger for her. matt went home after school yesterday with grandma van ness. i called this morning to see if he wanted to go with me shopping, come home or what he wanted and without surprise he wanted to stay the day with them. i noticed on his facebook status that he had been farming with grandpa and grandma told me he'd been riding his 4-wheeler already this morning so i'm not surprised he's gonna spend the rest of the day.

awoke to a lot of sirens this morning. that's not a pleasant sound...you know someone's day/life is not going to be the same. on the up side it's beautiful out. today's high is suppose to be 74. ahhhhh.

i bought some new shoes yesterday with hope that they would ease the back/leg pain i experience while i'm working. i do think it was a bit more comfortable last night. being fat doesn't help ;P

Speaking of being fat...I'd like to tell the makers of fat clothing a few things. If ever there was an industry in need of HELP this one would be it. Issue #1 the models you're using to model the fashions you've designed ARE NOT FAT. they're bigger boned at best. i'm yet to see one with a stomach that sticks out farther than her boobs. and news flash...we chubby chicks usually don't cinch our clothing in the back to take up slack...there usually isn't much slack to work with. Issue #2 stripes are nice...how about making them vertical. we don't need to wear what appears to be fabric hula hoops! really...it's not a good look for anyone over a size 7. Issue #3 please please please learn how to make pants for a size 18. very few chubby chicks have a waist so it really isn't necessary for there to be one in the pants. perhaps you could use the toddler pant idea & have adjusters inside the waist band for those fortunate to be able to still find a waist that is in existence. the next pant problem is the length between the end of the zipper & the crotch. granted some women suffer from a sever front butt but i really don't feel they're the majority. where the additional room is needed is around the hips not down the hips. Issue #4 skinny jeans...hahaha! who are you fool'n. if your body has matured and exceeded size...13/14 "skinny jeans" just become "too tight shoved my fat into these jeans" jeans. not a good look. Issue #5 prints, jewels, colors...i've been made to feel like my only options are loud, obnoxious colors, prints, flowers (ick) that have all been bedazzeled. i'm large...what? you can't see me coming? you need a heads up from a polychromatic moving forsythia with jewels dripping form it's petals so that you don't bump into me? ugh!!!! the worst. Issue #6 see through fabric. hummmm really? you want to see it? perhaps is a secret diet method fat folk aren't aware of. i will say this, speaking only for myself...when i see another chubbys' chubbies exposed either through fabric or lack there of i pretty much loose my appetite. Issue #7 tops...now i'd think this one would be a no brainer. you're going over rolls...fabric gets used up to make it over those therefore more fabric is needed to get over all the rolls. longer shirts please & thank you.

well, that's it for me today. i've a swim suit to buy (interesting), packing to do and then it's off to work. final thought...i love my wonderful husband.

a good.....

A good....
Book:
Lock & Key
Wimpy kid series
13 little blue envelopes
Food:
Chuckwagon pizza! & bread stix
chicken parm w/ side of fettuccine (olive garden)
movie popcorn
day:
one filled with laughter & those you love & enjoy (the "enjoy" factor is important)
person: someone accepting you for all you are good/bad

Today is a GOOD day to make a difference, to start anew, to redefine the ending. Today is a Good day to like yourself, and be accepting of others. Today is a Good day to leave the past where it belongs. Today is a Good day to find the lesson that needed to be learned and start the learning process. Today is a Good day to be thankful for all the promises that have been given. Today is a Good day to accept those promises and to allow them to transform you. Today is a Good day for it is the day the Lord has made. Rejoice!

Well the sun is shining, Kate is on the side of the road (on their way to DC) with a flat tire on the bus, Matt is in school, taxes are mailed and Andy is getting ready to go back to Merriville until Friday night. I chuckled when I got the call from Kate telling me they were on the side of the road with a flat tire. I could hear the kids laughing and talking with not a care/concern in their voice. I asked her how long until it would be fixed, she immediately asked the closest adult and I could hear only the tone of his reply...ANNOYED! Perhaps this is a situation where the kids can teach the adults a thing or two. Flat tires are a part of life. Pump it up/repair it and go on.

There are so many Good things about life here. We have so many comforts that are man made not to mention the amazing goodness that God has created just for us! while we are here. From rapping birds (i swear the birds were rapping yesterday morning) to beautiful colors in our landscape & sky, the sun that warms us and should remind us of His love from above! I get bummed when others don't get it. It's one thing for a non believer to not fully grasp all that has been gifted to us but when a professed believer/follower succumbs to being blinded by THIS WORLD it saddens me. God is Good and we know that, should trust in that always, for He is good ALL THE TIME.

Now I've been down, frustrated, bummed - don't get me wrong but it's not an easy place to dwell when you get down to the basics. The simple stuff - the Good stuff. Push aside the worldly stuff that bogs one down. Find a way to enjoy the quiet, the breeze, the birds. If you find yourself agitated, sad, mad, lost - STOP, LOOK & LISTEN. There's unmistakable beauty around you. This is a Good day!

Make the decision to allow the Goodness into your life. Be it God given, or worldly find something Good and enjoy today!

venting...

I don't believe that it is necessary to be liked by all in this life. I actually feel it's rather impossible for that to even happen. I know I certainly don't like everyone. But am called to Love them based on my religious view. I've got to admit it would probably be tough for you to or anyone else to know I don't like you unless I openly tell you or tell others of my feelings and it gets back to you. And then there are those that I initially didn't care for and have come to like. You really just never know. How one person views you can vary greatly from how another does. Tonight was a frustrating night...to say the very least. I get so irritated with myself when I allow OTHERS to annoy me! I hate giving others that much power over me. Ironically, I still continue to be kind to these people. I've tried treating them as they do me....it just goes against what I believe. For one I'd say deep down there's goodness there; for the other I see nothing but deceit. The character traits exhibited are just not appealing to me at all. It's obvious to all they feel the same toward me...& I'm fine with that. What is also noticeable is their immaturity in dealing with someone they don't care for. You want to be treated like an adult - learn to behave like one~!

4/14

today she leaves for d.c.....well tonight actually. it'll be weird with out her around. i know she'll have an awesome time and i'm excited for her to get the opportunity to have the experience. funny how we get comfortable with having certain people around, husbands, kids, even our pets. something just seems a little off when they're not there. i'm excited to hear about her time and all the sights and to see the pictures she takes. they'll be leaving the school at 9pm tonight, driving all night & then will begin their sight seeing tomorrow. thursday & friday will be spent in a hotel. here's one of the aspects of my kid that i love...57 students are going, they were given the opportunity to sign up with friends for roommates, kate just kinda waited to see who needed a 4th. you see this is one of the aspects of my daughter that sets her apart from many teenage girls. she's not into being in a clique. she doesn't have a best friend. however, she is a good friend to many. that is an attribute that you just don't find in many people, especially girls. she figures...1) they all get to sight see in a group 2)there will be many to "hang" with and share laughs with and make memories with...'why limit myself to just one group' 3) she mentioned that she was friends with most going on the trip....why "pick".

i give thanks daily for just how well balanced my kid is turning out to be! so so blessed. pray for safety in travel and during they're sight seeing time.

my son is so similar to me in personality (eek) he's a good kid too i just feel like he's so much more secretive than his sister. (lol) i regret that i've not had the time with him that i've had with my daughter. kate & i have had so many talks about life, love & happiness. i feel that i've not had the chance to have those same conversations with matt and now feel like i should've. he only seems to come a way with snipits of what's been advised/said and at times i feel the meaning has gotten lost in translation. matt seems to get it "after" the fact. i just hope when he really 'gets it' it's not too late. i will say this kid has a heart of gold! if only he would listen to it more than the "voices in the hallway". the growing up has appeared to be a bit more challenging for matt than kate. all the ugliness for kate seemed to take place early on...when kids were more forgiving. matt's search for a place to belong has seemed to take place just in the past year. unfortunately the older kids get the less forgiving they can be. this summer is sure to bring about a lot of change...changes in friends, interest, puberty, not to mention he'll be off to jr. high in august. i pray for more time with him. i pray he'll feel a sense of security with who he is so that he can stand strong in his beliefs. i pray his heart will win out.

today is a beautiful day. high is to be in the 80's WOW! i ache all over, i probably need new shoes ...perhaps i should just go & get some. matt's supposed to come home for lunch today. it's a new thing for him. he says he likes the break away from "that place" lol God love him, he's just not a fan!

did i mention i love my kids and my husband....more importantly ...i enjoy them.

happy wednesday...take a moment and think about the attribute about someone close to you that makes you smile. you might even tell them!