well, amboy is listed. still have to have drywall finished, floors covered, paint, siding, kitchen cabinets set & bathrooms....but it's listed. kim has been helping here. or doing it is more like it. i'm such a sloth. so over all the fixing up & what not, and just ready to sell & be done...move & be done...just ready to be done.
it's been a week of missing you loads for me. i think matt is really missing you too. we shared in some tears together monday night. i feel like there's just so much that i need to hear from you. i can get out what i need to say but not hearing your response is really starting to bum me out.
we meet with mark next thursday. i pray it just goes smooth. i don't know why it shouldn't. you know me, not good with processes. and lately it seems as though that's all life has been. wish i could just make what needs to happen...happen.
well, i miss you....that's really all for now. i'm taking kate to dr. later. her lungs are hurting again. once we get more meds i'm sure she'll be fine.
trying to keep it all together through all of this. ....you know me, not really one to "lose" it.
and i "really love you too"
talk to you later.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
948-5563
good morning! I am having flash backs to my childhood when you went to bat for a cause re: the school(s) and what you & your group of women/men thought of how things were being ran! lol I've got a fire burning in my belly over some issues and am trying to figure out the best course of action. All the talk of bullying in schools and sadly I tend to see it at every level. Life truly is a classroom. Parents are afraid to speak out for fear of repercussions toward their child. Only one on one meetings (if any) are all that seem to be held re: concerns because parents are viewed as a "lynch mob" when they don't agree with what is happening. Or meetings are avoided all together. The approach of 'if we don't acknowledge it then it certainly isn't a valid concern/problem', well - I just don't get it.
You know me, I question things until they make sense. It's not that I don't think rules/policies have a place, they certainly do but there are times when further explanation is needed/necessary. The whole "because I said so" mentality has never seemed to work for me or be a reasonable response. Pretty sure that response wouldn't fly if it was from the mouth of a student.
I think it's unfortunate how much has changed over the years. And that's something coming from me because you know I love change and often welcome it. But not all change is good. And when current employees, retiree's, and current & former board members all in separate conversations (they initiated!) echo the same sentiment "good 'ole boys club" & "decisions coming from local church" it's concerning. And I can't help but wonder what to do .....seriously it's become the communities "elephant in the room", everyone sees it but no one wants to address it. Adults are talking, students are talking ....but most feel as though it's a lost cause.
I wish I had the answer. I wish I felt like our voices would be heard. I did my part at the polls...only to hear board members comment "i thought i'd be able to make a difference....only to realize i cannot". So, with that...now what? A little Irony, my last few months employed 2 administrators commented to me that if they received 3 reports of negative behavior they had to consider it a pattern....eveidentially that doesn't apply to administration, rather only to those who need to be controlled or kept in check! I feel certain there have been more than 3 complains similar in nature levied. It's all disheartening to say the least.
On the up side, I'm pleased with most of the kids' classroom teachers & experiences. Team that with a pretty decent community & over all it's all good. I am thankful I've been able to keep it real with my kids and they've been able to identify and adjust to concerns. After all a spade is a spade.
Oh how I'd love to hear your advice on all of this. At least that which you'd offer up while you still had your 'fight' in you! For now I am prayerful.
....oh the lessons learned and yet to be learned. I love you momma & miss you much. Glad to still be able to talk to you though! Hoping God has deemed you an Angel and assigned you my family & children. Tell grandma & grandpa I love & miss them too! Gigner said she was able to see you cartwheel through the pearly gates! ...I'm just a bit jealous!
talk to you later....I know you do!
You know me, I question things until they make sense. It's not that I don't think rules/policies have a place, they certainly do but there are times when further explanation is needed/necessary. The whole "because I said so" mentality has never seemed to work for me or be a reasonable response. Pretty sure that response wouldn't fly if it was from the mouth of a student.
I think it's unfortunate how much has changed over the years. And that's something coming from me because you know I love change and often welcome it. But not all change is good. And when current employees, retiree's, and current & former board members all in separate conversations (they initiated!) echo the same sentiment "good 'ole boys club" & "decisions coming from local church" it's concerning. And I can't help but wonder what to do .....seriously it's become the communities "elephant in the room", everyone sees it but no one wants to address it. Adults are talking, students are talking ....but most feel as though it's a lost cause.
I wish I had the answer. I wish I felt like our voices would be heard. I did my part at the polls...only to hear board members comment "i thought i'd be able to make a difference....only to realize i cannot". So, with that...now what? A little Irony, my last few months employed 2 administrators commented to me that if they received 3 reports of negative behavior they had to consider it a pattern....eveidentially that doesn't apply to administration, rather only to those who need to be controlled or kept in check! I feel certain there have been more than 3 complains similar in nature levied. It's all disheartening to say the least.
On the up side, I'm pleased with most of the kids' classroom teachers & experiences. Team that with a pretty decent community & over all it's all good. I am thankful I've been able to keep it real with my kids and they've been able to identify and adjust to concerns. After all a spade is a spade.
Oh how I'd love to hear your advice on all of this. At least that which you'd offer up while you still had your 'fight' in you! For now I am prayerful.
....oh the lessons learned and yet to be learned. I love you momma & miss you much. Glad to still be able to talk to you though! Hoping God has deemed you an Angel and assigned you my family & children. Tell grandma & grandpa I love & miss them too! Gigner said she was able to see you cartwheel through the pearly gates! ...I'm just a bit jealous!
talk to you later....I know you do!
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
948-5563
good morning. well, it happened. i was going to the school to pick up kathryn last night and totally picked up my cell to call you. people would be pleased to know i cried....some more. then i figured it was your way of telling me to "call" as it's been a few days.
i am sure you know we had a busy weekend. nothing new for us...and honestly i'm kinda over it. ...all of it. kate's squad competed at the state fair cheer comp. and did very well. they placed 3rd out of 16 squads. not too shabby for their first comp. i picked up lisa, joes wife & lindsey to go with us and it was really nice spend time with them and get to know them a little better. both are as sweet as ever. in addition to all the funeral stuff and cheer stuff kate had a full day at lake webster for the youth lake day. she's exhausted... as am i.
i know one thing, when we get moved....I AM SLOWING DOWN. so is andy. he said he wasn't doing anything for a year. i think i'll join him. i sure hope once september is here and the houses are listed at least one of them sells quickly! i so want to move...sooner rather than later. it will be such a breath of fresh air.
kim and possibly the girls are coming to get me in shape here at the swayzee house. she's freaking amazing...i however am such a sloth. :( why is that?
well, i miss ya....and love you!
.....i know, i really love you too!
i am sure you know we had a busy weekend. nothing new for us...and honestly i'm kinda over it. ...all of it. kate's squad competed at the state fair cheer comp. and did very well. they placed 3rd out of 16 squads. not too shabby for their first comp. i picked up lisa, joes wife & lindsey to go with us and it was really nice spend time with them and get to know them a little better. both are as sweet as ever. in addition to all the funeral stuff and cheer stuff kate had a full day at lake webster for the youth lake day. she's exhausted... as am i.
i know one thing, when we get moved....I AM SLOWING DOWN. so is andy. he said he wasn't doing anything for a year. i think i'll join him. i sure hope once september is here and the houses are listed at least one of them sells quickly! i so want to move...sooner rather than later. it will be such a breath of fresh air.
kim and possibly the girls are coming to get me in shape here at the swayzee house. she's freaking amazing...i however am such a sloth. :( why is that?
well, i miss ya....and love you!
.....i know, i really love you too!
Monday, August 22, 2011
Intentional / unintentional
Intentional =(i)
Unintentional =(u)
these two words have been swimming about in my head for some time. i've pondered actions (i/u); words (i./u); relationships (i/u) and tried to sum up how i seem to go about most things...intentionally or unintentionally. I'll blame my friend Heather Neslteroad who is also a blogger and writes for a blog called the intentional journey. the name of the blog alone gives way to wondering.
God has our life/story mapped out. He knows the path, the obstacles and the intent. For us it's an unknown. However we do know how we choose to act/react, we choose our words/silence, we choose who we let in and who we let go.
I've given much thought lately to many of the people in my life, past and present. How I've allowed them to influence me. What power I gave up to them, if any. Why those who are still a part of my life are still and why others no longer are. Needless to say it's a lot to consider. In addition I am left wondering what if any impact I have had on others. ....intentional and unintentional.
I figure in designing me God had intent. As I've come to realize this I've also realized all I do and say will in some way result in some effect on something or someone. It's not about me.
Our journey through this life will be full of intentional and unintentional aspects. As I think about my relationships with people in this manner I find it sheds a new light on how I view them. I feel family is unintentional as they are who God has connected us with. But, as one grows choosing to retain/maintain those relationships is very much intentional. As a child my family was near, cousins, aunts, uncles, greats & grandparents and my parents were together. As an adult most all of those relatives have moved on, away or passed. Now keeping up those relationships becomes intentional. As does letting some of them go.
With the passing of my mom I really contemplated this even more. Our relationship was unintentional as a child and became very intentional as I grew to be an adult. I (we) had to work at it. And in the end it felt good to say I too would've chosen her to be my mom and I was glad we became friends. We (I) struggled with the mother/daughter thing. I'm glad we intentionally worked on our relationship. As friends came to pay their respects I was left wondering what might've happened to some of their friendships. I thought of their effect on mom's life and in some instances on mine. It was good to see old familiar faces and even better to feel as though you were able to pick up where you left off with some of them. Others had me wondering why exactly they would allow "stuff" of this life get in the way of paying respects and celebrating a life.
The last 3 weeks with mom gave me a lot of time to be reflective. It's given me a greater appreciation of family and friends. I've had many friends over the years and many people come and go from my life. I've thought a lot lately about those who remain in my life, intentionally or unintentionally and feel so very blessed that they are still around. Very blessed to know them. The past 3 weeks I've realized that I don't want or need to give "face time" or any of my precious time to those who have intentionally moved on with out me. For it's not the number of people one has in their life, rather the quality of people. I am blessed with a life long friend, Rhonda Compo Titus, a college friend, Jill Mercer, a best friend Anne Craun, and my modern day grownup friends Jessica Ankenbruck, Tana Boland, Techia Brewer, Cindy Evans, Stacy Hall, Heather Knee, Heather Nestleroad, Trina Nevers, Letha Powell, Cindy Roach, Sherri Rush. It's a comfort to know that when I get together with any one of those girls, it's just as it should be. Easy, reliable, comforting, calming, funny, and worth having. I can't begin to list all the friends/acquaintances that bring a smile to my face at the mention of their name, because God has blessed me with many.
God has intentionally put some really fantastic people in my life, for that alone my blessings over flow. I only hope going forward I can, with intent, be more pleasing to Him and a good friend, person to those who pass through my life.
I hope to live intentionally .....
Unintentional =(u)
these two words have been swimming about in my head for some time. i've pondered actions (i/u); words (i./u); relationships (i/u) and tried to sum up how i seem to go about most things...intentionally or unintentionally. I'll blame my friend Heather Neslteroad who is also a blogger and writes for a blog called the intentional journey. the name of the blog alone gives way to wondering.
God has our life/story mapped out. He knows the path, the obstacles and the intent. For us it's an unknown. However we do know how we choose to act/react, we choose our words/silence, we choose who we let in and who we let go.
I've given much thought lately to many of the people in my life, past and present. How I've allowed them to influence me. What power I gave up to them, if any. Why those who are still a part of my life are still and why others no longer are. Needless to say it's a lot to consider. In addition I am left wondering what if any impact I have had on others. ....intentional and unintentional.
I figure in designing me God had intent. As I've come to realize this I've also realized all I do and say will in some way result in some effect on something or someone. It's not about me.
Our journey through this life will be full of intentional and unintentional aspects. As I think about my relationships with people in this manner I find it sheds a new light on how I view them. I feel family is unintentional as they are who God has connected us with. But, as one grows choosing to retain/maintain those relationships is very much intentional. As a child my family was near, cousins, aunts, uncles, greats & grandparents and my parents were together. As an adult most all of those relatives have moved on, away or passed. Now keeping up those relationships becomes intentional. As does letting some of them go.
With the passing of my mom I really contemplated this even more. Our relationship was unintentional as a child and became very intentional as I grew to be an adult. I (we) had to work at it. And in the end it felt good to say I too would've chosen her to be my mom and I was glad we became friends. We (I) struggled with the mother/daughter thing. I'm glad we intentionally worked on our relationship. As friends came to pay their respects I was left wondering what might've happened to some of their friendships. I thought of their effect on mom's life and in some instances on mine. It was good to see old familiar faces and even better to feel as though you were able to pick up where you left off with some of them. Others had me wondering why exactly they would allow "stuff" of this life get in the way of paying respects and celebrating a life.
The last 3 weeks with mom gave me a lot of time to be reflective. It's given me a greater appreciation of family and friends. I've had many friends over the years and many people come and go from my life. I've thought a lot lately about those who remain in my life, intentionally or unintentionally and feel so very blessed that they are still around. Very blessed to know them. The past 3 weeks I've realized that I don't want or need to give "face time" or any of my precious time to those who have intentionally moved on with out me. For it's not the number of people one has in their life, rather the quality of people. I am blessed with a life long friend, Rhonda Compo Titus, a college friend, Jill Mercer, a best friend Anne Craun, and my modern day grownup friends Jessica Ankenbruck, Tana Boland, Techia Brewer, Cindy Evans, Stacy Hall, Heather Knee, Heather Nestleroad, Trina Nevers, Letha Powell, Cindy Roach, Sherri Rush. It's a comfort to know that when I get together with any one of those girls, it's just as it should be. Easy, reliable, comforting, calming, funny, and worth having. I can't begin to list all the friends/acquaintances that bring a smile to my face at the mention of their name, because God has blessed me with many.
God has intentionally put some really fantastic people in my life, for that alone my blessings over flow. I only hope going forward I can, with intent, be more pleasing to Him and a good friend, person to those who pass through my life.
I hope to live intentionally .....
Thursday, August 18, 2011
948-5563
Hey, sorry i didn't get you called last night. As I'm sure you know it was quite a long day. ....a long 3 weeks actually! I hope you like my outfits & hair & make-up. And did you notice? I even wore jewelry! and with that said, my ears are killing me! I just can't do the cheap stuff & can't imagine purchasing the good! lol oh well, it was a special occasion.
Not sure who Dave is, but he's next to you & grandma & grandpa! When we sat down erics chair kept sinking into the ground! jokingly he said "sorry dave, don't mean to invade your space" It was pretty funny....and yep, you guessed it; we were totally laughing as people began to gather around.
I think you would've liked the food! much better this time around.(wink)
I sure pray for clarity, smooth transitions and what not as we sort through everything. I flat out refuse to argue over money. & I sure hope Eric & Kim decide to move into the house. I can't imagine anyone else on that block! I just wouldn't be right!
I ask that you keep working on Matt. And keep an eye out for kate & andy too! How lucky you are to get to see grandma & grandpa! Joe and I decided the storms on sat & sun were you & aunt sandy working through things. lol. good to know it's all cleared up! as it's been sunny skies ever since! You know now that Uncle Ralph was right behind you! We'll be saying our "until we meet again" to him this weekend.
I feel like I'm on auto pilot. So much to get done before the 1st of sept. and a ton more to do during the month of sept. I've officially decided I do not like August at all & the only thing sept. has going for it is football!
Kate cheers her 1st varsity football game tomorrow night. can you believe it?!! She's beautiful mom, just like you! & matt....well, he's a cutie like me! sure wish he had more of his dad's personality though! a teenage boy "me" is a scary thing! lol
Dian Hoeimer has been so nice. She's gonna hook me up with some sandwich spread like you used to make! how sweet is that. You were a great friend mom to so many people and love by a countless number! What a testament to how you lived your life!
I love you.....will continue to miss you....and just so you know.....I would've chosen you.
....yeah, I know you do! I'll talk to you later. Good night
Not sure who Dave is, but he's next to you & grandma & grandpa! When we sat down erics chair kept sinking into the ground! jokingly he said "sorry dave, don't mean to invade your space" It was pretty funny....and yep, you guessed it; we were totally laughing as people began to gather around.
I think you would've liked the food! much better this time around.(wink)
I sure pray for clarity, smooth transitions and what not as we sort through everything. I flat out refuse to argue over money. & I sure hope Eric & Kim decide to move into the house. I can't imagine anyone else on that block! I just wouldn't be right!
I ask that you keep working on Matt. And keep an eye out for kate & andy too! How lucky you are to get to see grandma & grandpa! Joe and I decided the storms on sat & sun were you & aunt sandy working through things. lol. good to know it's all cleared up! as it's been sunny skies ever since! You know now that Uncle Ralph was right behind you! We'll be saying our "until we meet again" to him this weekend.
I feel like I'm on auto pilot. So much to get done before the 1st of sept. and a ton more to do during the month of sept. I've officially decided I do not like August at all & the only thing sept. has going for it is football!
Kate cheers her 1st varsity football game tomorrow night. can you believe it?!! She's beautiful mom, just like you! & matt....well, he's a cutie like me! sure wish he had more of his dad's personality though! a teenage boy "me" is a scary thing! lol
Dian Hoeimer has been so nice. She's gonna hook me up with some sandwich spread like you used to make! how sweet is that. You were a great friend mom to so many people and love by a countless number! What a testament to how you lived your life!
I love you.....will continue to miss you....and just so you know.....I would've chosen you.
....yeah, I know you do! I'll talk to you later. Good night
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
948-5563
Oh my goodness! Heather & I went shopping to get me some clothes to wear the next couple of days. You're gonna love the outfits! And just for you I have accessorized. :) Yesterday wasn't without it's excitement either. My mind is goop right now and focus is beyond short! Just leaving the parking lot i was almost in 3 fender benders and then when taking her home I was on 500 W and right by Nancy Solis' house some blue hair in a little red car totally ran the stop sign and pulled out & turned in front of us! REALLY!!!! The parking lot fieasco was totally all on me but this other NOT! Once we realized we were ok we started laughing! Heather had to pee so bad and I about pooped myself! I decided 'ole blue hair' was probably equipped with the proper under-garment for such occasions! Longest drive to Heathers house EVER!!!!
Like Andy's little bit of excitement & safety...I'll attribute our safety to you also...& God of course! Any other time I might say my defensive driving skills were to account for our safety but not this time!
Kate is wearing down....always happens this time of year and all the extra stuff doesn't help. Sure hope someone picks up the slack and begins prayers for Matthew! ....School is NOT his thing! & we're only on day 2 for him as he missed friday. Feel free to never leave his side! As I feel like when it comes to him my mom skills are lacking. ......and since he's just like me & you did an "ok" job with me.... lol
I didn't feel bad calling. You say you never sleep anyway, so I figured you'd be up. We all have a full day ahead of us. Without a doubt it'll be overwhelming! Can't wait to tell you who all stopped by.
...I miss you too. love you & we'll talk later.
Like Andy's little bit of excitement & safety...I'll attribute our safety to you also...& God of course! Any other time I might say my defensive driving skills were to account for our safety but not this time!
Kate is wearing down....always happens this time of year and all the extra stuff doesn't help. Sure hope someone picks up the slack and begins prayers for Matthew! ....School is NOT his thing! & we're only on day 2 for him as he missed friday. Feel free to never leave his side! As I feel like when it comes to him my mom skills are lacking. ......and since he's just like me & you did an "ok" job with me.... lol
I didn't feel bad calling. You say you never sleep anyway, so I figured you'd be up. We all have a full day ahead of us. Without a doubt it'll be overwhelming! Can't wait to tell you who all stopped by.
...I miss you too. love you & we'll talk later.
Monday, August 15, 2011
Sunday, August 7, 2011
life...
The key to living happily ever after is to ....Live.
I can't remember a time as an adult when I didn't wish my mom could just live.
As individuals we all have our own definition of what living is. But as she lays, sedated in CCU it saddens me to think perhaps she never fully lived. She enjoyed travel and when I was a child we traveled often. She loved her parents endlessly so much so she never really left their side. But as her life continued changes occurred that required her to also change if she wanted to continue to "live".....sadly few changes took place. Her new life, in order to be lived would require a complete change of course or so it seemed.....to me anyway.
After visits with mom I would often be so frustrated because I always felt like there was more she could do. Perhaps not physically but I always felt there were choices that she could make that would've allowed her to "live". For as she was going about her life within the walls of her home friends, neighbors, family & a world were living out side of her house.
One never knows how they might react to life changing situations. Divorce, losing best friends, children moving out, the passing of parents, loss of job due to disabilities....so many things of this life can force our hand and cause us to have to change course. I viewed such instances as God saying...'I have a different path for you...' I don't know if that's truly the case but it's what get's me through.
For 12 days my mom has been in a hospital bed. for 10 of those days she's not been "living" if you will. Don't get me wrong ...her vitals are good, no signs of infection, heart is strong....but she's heavily sedated, kidneys are not at all doing their job, gout has taken over her body, tubes are running through her and over the course of a week I've been unable to hear the sound of her voice. But I know she can hear mine.
I've prayed to God as have many of my friends. I've felt His spirit as I've stood by her bedside and I know His plan is perfect.
I want my mom to live. Who doesn't right? But I want my mom to live life happily ever after. A life without depression, gout, painful joints. I want my mom to feel joy, love, laughter. To lay her head down at night with a sigh of exhaustion from having experienced so many of Gods blessings that day. I've always wanted that for her....and now I have to wonder if it will (has) ever happen.
I'm at peace only because I know a great great God is in control and her life is written down. But I selfishly pray that there's a chapter left that will allow me to hear her laughter, loving words, and just let us talk again....in this life.
I can't remember a time as an adult when I didn't wish my mom could just live.
As individuals we all have our own definition of what living is. But as she lays, sedated in CCU it saddens me to think perhaps she never fully lived. She enjoyed travel and when I was a child we traveled often. She loved her parents endlessly so much so she never really left their side. But as her life continued changes occurred that required her to also change if she wanted to continue to "live".....sadly few changes took place. Her new life, in order to be lived would require a complete change of course or so it seemed.....to me anyway.
After visits with mom I would often be so frustrated because I always felt like there was more she could do. Perhaps not physically but I always felt there were choices that she could make that would've allowed her to "live". For as she was going about her life within the walls of her home friends, neighbors, family & a world were living out side of her house.
One never knows how they might react to life changing situations. Divorce, losing best friends, children moving out, the passing of parents, loss of job due to disabilities....so many things of this life can force our hand and cause us to have to change course. I viewed such instances as God saying...'I have a different path for you...' I don't know if that's truly the case but it's what get's me through.
For 12 days my mom has been in a hospital bed. for 10 of those days she's not been "living" if you will. Don't get me wrong ...her vitals are good, no signs of infection, heart is strong....but she's heavily sedated, kidneys are not at all doing their job, gout has taken over her body, tubes are running through her and over the course of a week I've been unable to hear the sound of her voice. But I know she can hear mine.
I've prayed to God as have many of my friends. I've felt His spirit as I've stood by her bedside and I know His plan is perfect.
I want my mom to live. Who doesn't right? But I want my mom to live life happily ever after. A life without depression, gout, painful joints. I want my mom to feel joy, love, laughter. To lay her head down at night with a sigh of exhaustion from having experienced so many of Gods blessings that day. I've always wanted that for her....and now I have to wonder if it will (has) ever happen.
I'm at peace only because I know a great great God is in control and her life is written down. But I selfishly pray that there's a chapter left that will allow me to hear her laughter, loving words, and just let us talk again....in this life.
Monday, July 25, 2011
Sunday has reclaimed it's place as my favorite day. It's a family day. It's the Lords day. It's a day of seeing people I enjoy. And, for the most part it's a day of unscheduled events. As of the first of July my church was blessed with a new pastor. And wow, it's become impossible to sit in the pew, look around and not be filled with joy. Only one other time in my life have I felt such immediate gratification from the Lord as I have felt, witnessed and heard over the course of the month. Such a blessing. Just the fuel necessary to re-ignite the passion with in to further know Christ Jesus!
This past Sunday really hit it all home for me. It was great seeing members of our family who had left return home for a visit....sparked by curiosity perhaps but certainly an indicator that they had not forgotten us or fully given up. That is a feel good moment. As the message was being delivered I couldn't help but think about current events in my life, situations that have caused concern. I felt as though God had a message He wanted me to hear and in the middle of it all I looked down to see another person involved in all the "stuff" also sitting and listening. I only hope he gave as much thought to the message as I did. Either way I felt assured that HIS will would be done, my concerns had been heard and with out a doubt He is my comforter. God is Good!
The other thing that struck me as services let out was how I missed seeing old friends there. I sent them a message to that effect with an invite to give us a try again, I can only hope that perhaps one day they'll come again. I know it's tough especially when Sunday seems to be THE only day everyone can ever get together. But I'll continue to hold out hope.
On a different note, for over a year I have been a sounding block for some coaches, parents, etc....I've "absorbed" if you will all the information you could possibly throw at me. Over the course of listening to all of it I've nearly bit off my tongue, and lost sleep because of my silence. Well, NO MORE! I'm officially over-saturated and done being a sounding board with out a response. .....just saying, notice has been served!
Asking for prayers for many kids/teen that I know/knew and worked with during my time in the schools. I'm seeing a lot of self-destructive behavior that really saddens and concerns me and should really concern others as well.
Delving into the B-attitudes this week. ....won't you join me!
This past Sunday really hit it all home for me. It was great seeing members of our family who had left return home for a visit....sparked by curiosity perhaps but certainly an indicator that they had not forgotten us or fully given up. That is a feel good moment. As the message was being delivered I couldn't help but think about current events in my life, situations that have caused concern. I felt as though God had a message He wanted me to hear and in the middle of it all I looked down to see another person involved in all the "stuff" also sitting and listening. I only hope he gave as much thought to the message as I did. Either way I felt assured that HIS will would be done, my concerns had been heard and with out a doubt He is my comforter. God is Good!
The other thing that struck me as services let out was how I missed seeing old friends there. I sent them a message to that effect with an invite to give us a try again, I can only hope that perhaps one day they'll come again. I know it's tough especially when Sunday seems to be THE only day everyone can ever get together. But I'll continue to hold out hope.
On a different note, for over a year I have been a sounding block for some coaches, parents, etc....I've "absorbed" if you will all the information you could possibly throw at me. Over the course of listening to all of it I've nearly bit off my tongue, and lost sleep because of my silence. Well, NO MORE! I'm officially over-saturated and done being a sounding board with out a response. .....just saying, notice has been served!
Asking for prayers for many kids/teen that I know/knew and worked with during my time in the schools. I'm seeing a lot of self-destructive behavior that really saddens and concerns me and should really concern others as well.
Delving into the B-attitudes this week. ....won't you join me!
Thursday, July 14, 2011
oh the irony....
my last blog was about the golden rule. interestingly enough this rule has be under examination from my point of view.
just so we're all on the same page it's goes like this "do unto others as you would have them do unto you". quite a message. one that i would interpret to be: hey, i am gonna be nice to you because i would appreciate your kindness in return. makes good sense if you ask me. but what about those times when the treatment given seems unfathomable let alone something someone would want repeated.
2 years ago i was terminated from a job that i loved. the 3 points that contributed to my being let go had to do with 1) seeking the truth 2) not lying to protect the system/program 3) not lying about my opinion re: a person. it was also stated that i refused to work with someone i didn't care for and truth be told (hahaha) that couldn't be further from the truth. for i put on my big girl panties and covered when asked for the coach when she was unable to attend. and furthermore did it willingly without issue because that is what should've been done and what i would've expected should i have been in need. (somewhere along the line that little fact never came into play)
i would've like to have thought that 2 years out i would've moved past all of this, however in light of recent events in our lives i've been brought back to it all and frankly, it stings. big time!
for those at the helm have sent this message.....we will not tolerate a truth if it is not our own. and we will accept lying. i can't begin to tell you the message this has sent to me as a parent and to my children as students and athletes.
i cannot control behaviors. i can control my own. i'm not perfect and don't claim to be, i can say that i did not lie to a parent, or student, or administrator. ....i find it sad that those i'm referring to cannot do the same.
i can and will prayerfully lift up what is an ugly situation. and will do what i can to be a part of a solution to what i view as an unacceptable problem.
i've always been a fan of change....i think the powers that be that head up our system could certainly stand to be changed. for the message they're sending just shouldn't be acceptable.
and if it is acceptable, well.....truth be damned.
just so we're all on the same page it's goes like this "do unto others as you would have them do unto you". quite a message. one that i would interpret to be: hey, i am gonna be nice to you because i would appreciate your kindness in return. makes good sense if you ask me. but what about those times when the treatment given seems unfathomable let alone something someone would want repeated.
2 years ago i was terminated from a job that i loved. the 3 points that contributed to my being let go had to do with 1) seeking the truth 2) not lying to protect the system/program 3) not lying about my opinion re: a person. it was also stated that i refused to work with someone i didn't care for and truth be told (hahaha) that couldn't be further from the truth. for i put on my big girl panties and covered when asked for the coach when she was unable to attend. and furthermore did it willingly without issue because that is what should've been done and what i would've expected should i have been in need. (somewhere along the line that little fact never came into play)
i would've like to have thought that 2 years out i would've moved past all of this, however in light of recent events in our lives i've been brought back to it all and frankly, it stings. big time!
for those at the helm have sent this message.....we will not tolerate a truth if it is not our own. and we will accept lying. i can't begin to tell you the message this has sent to me as a parent and to my children as students and athletes.
i cannot control behaviors. i can control my own. i'm not perfect and don't claim to be, i can say that i did not lie to a parent, or student, or administrator. ....i find it sad that those i'm referring to cannot do the same.
i can and will prayerfully lift up what is an ugly situation. and will do what i can to be a part of a solution to what i view as an unacceptable problem.
i've always been a fan of change....i think the powers that be that head up our system could certainly stand to be changed. for the message they're sending just shouldn't be acceptable.
and if it is acceptable, well.....truth be damned.
Monday, June 20, 2011
mid june...2011
sometime ago i decided to put the golden rule in to practice. we've all heard it, been advised to use it and often like to offer it up as advice to others. you know how it goes...'do unto others as you would have them do unto you'. it's a simple principle really yet the stuff of this life can make the simplicity of it oh so challenging at times. in addition i've done my best to be more conscious of others' feelings, situations, and differences that in many occasions might've set us apart, i've tried to allow them to connect me with others as opposed to disconnect which is often the easier route. i have also increased my communication with God. not just in the form of prayer but for me and Him it's been more like conversation. the results thus far....INCREDIBLE if you ask me.
not that life has been with out irritations, annoyances, fits, & frustrations, but those have been far overshadowed by the blessing that i've been able to recognize and accept. friendships, acquaintances, and the thing that has stood out the most....God's hand in all of it and the power of prayer.
i've realized i'm not alone in the boat of frustration. i'm not the only one who cries out to God. He has made it easier for me to recognize the blessing and allowed me to more assuredly to go about this life knowing His plan is and has been in place. i just had to be open to it and receptive to whatever the out come may be.
i am at peace but not complacent.
it's not my place to ask 'why?' but to do as He has called me to do. i've realized this principle when put into practice has at times been questioned and perhaps even a time or two made others uncomfortable...but for me it just feels right. and truth be told...i like it.
i'm not perfect....would NEVER claim to be...for i'm a work in progress. and i'm working on being the best God would have me be. Loving, accepting, forgiving. .....all without judgement. it's the without judgement that tends to be the biggest stumbling block, but i'm working on it. because if you know me you know i have an opinion. (lol)
i've learned i cannot control what others do or think but i can control what i say and do and how i allow others to affect me and where i go from there.
it's been the best experiment so far! and you my friend have been just one of my many blessings.
as the rain falls, the thunder booms, and the lightening pops i'm reminded just how great our God is. to Him be the glory!
happy monday all!
not that life has been with out irritations, annoyances, fits, & frustrations, but those have been far overshadowed by the blessing that i've been able to recognize and accept. friendships, acquaintances, and the thing that has stood out the most....God's hand in all of it and the power of prayer.
i've realized i'm not alone in the boat of frustration. i'm not the only one who cries out to God. He has made it easier for me to recognize the blessing and allowed me to more assuredly to go about this life knowing His plan is and has been in place. i just had to be open to it and receptive to whatever the out come may be.
i am at peace but not complacent.
it's not my place to ask 'why?' but to do as He has called me to do. i've realized this principle when put into practice has at times been questioned and perhaps even a time or two made others uncomfortable...but for me it just feels right. and truth be told...i like it.
i'm not perfect....would NEVER claim to be...for i'm a work in progress. and i'm working on being the best God would have me be. Loving, accepting, forgiving. .....all without judgement. it's the without judgement that tends to be the biggest stumbling block, but i'm working on it. because if you know me you know i have an opinion. (lol)
i've learned i cannot control what others do or think but i can control what i say and do and how i allow others to affect me and where i go from there.
it's been the best experiment so far! and you my friend have been just one of my many blessings.
as the rain falls, the thunder booms, and the lightening pops i'm reminded just how great our God is. to Him be the glory!
happy monday all!
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
what a month. june is always nuts around the van ness house but it seems to have been kicked up a notch this year. with the multiple graduation invites that brings about 1001 emotions joy, excitement, sadness, guilt(for not attending all & providing w/ a gift) dance recitals, weddings, town rummage, camps, workouts, and this year drivers ed. whew!
add to all the above 1 house totally gutted, 1 house mid remodel and 1 house longing to be purchased which would require 1 of 2 houses to be sold. soon! which means one must be done soon. not an easy or stress free task. my patience is tried and the disappointment is high and the tolerance low as well as the motivation. i find it amazing how 4 people can have a common goal but zero commonality on how to get there. this makes 3000 sq. ft. feel very very cramped.
4 frazzled individuals does not = a good time. and i'm struggling to keep the positive outlook and smile in my heart. i can get it on my face but past the surface is another story.
in addition june is the chosen month to honor dads. (oh look another monkey wrench) well, once upon a time there was a little girl who was told (and she felt) she was the apple of her daddy's eye. and then she grew up. the end. may you have a happy fathers day james a.draper. i still love you & those distant memories.
grades came, not to shabby. test scores even better. all & all i was proud. i've got some pretty smart kids :) proud.
feeling a bit blue today. sometimes i wonder if with out prodding i'll be given a compliment, hug, kudos, pat on the back and the oh so sought after 'i love you'. hopeless romantic at heart...not sure it's a great trait. especially when it gets lost.
ready for the moon to make an appearance. ....looking forward to laying my head down and closing my eyes. perhaps my dreams will bring about a smile from the inside...if only for a moment.
add to all the above 1 house totally gutted, 1 house mid remodel and 1 house longing to be purchased which would require 1 of 2 houses to be sold. soon! which means one must be done soon. not an easy or stress free task. my patience is tried and the disappointment is high and the tolerance low as well as the motivation. i find it amazing how 4 people can have a common goal but zero commonality on how to get there. this makes 3000 sq. ft. feel very very cramped.
4 frazzled individuals does not = a good time. and i'm struggling to keep the positive outlook and smile in my heart. i can get it on my face but past the surface is another story.
in addition june is the chosen month to honor dads. (oh look another monkey wrench) well, once upon a time there was a little girl who was told (and she felt) she was the apple of her daddy's eye. and then she grew up. the end. may you have a happy fathers day james a.draper. i still love you & those distant memories.
grades came, not to shabby. test scores even better. all & all i was proud. i've got some pretty smart kids :) proud.
feeling a bit blue today. sometimes i wonder if with out prodding i'll be given a compliment, hug, kudos, pat on the back and the oh so sought after 'i love you'. hopeless romantic at heart...not sure it's a great trait. especially when it gets lost.
ready for the moon to make an appearance. ....looking forward to laying my head down and closing my eyes. perhaps my dreams will bring about a smile from the inside...if only for a moment.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
just some thoughts
being a mom...
well, contrary to what i thought about motherhood years ago, it's truly the best gig out there. and like many things there seems to be 1001 ways to "mother" and 1002 opinions about how to do it & do it right. i certainly have opinions on it...what i do, wouldn't do, would like to do, what i think others should/shouldn't do, etc... i guess knowing for sure one way or the other weather or not you classify as a "good mom" lies only with the end result and can perhaps be gauged by the state of the relationship between mother/child(ren) along the way.
personally i've parented in such a manner with the hope of not only aiding my kids to grow & develop in a healthy manner & to be good, confident, self-sufficient people but also with the hope of having a strong bond, friendship if you will with them as they grow. It would be nice when it's all said & done to have them choose to 'hang' with the "rent". ;)
i'm pretty sure right or wrong what i'm doing is going according to plan. we're not without our issues but i'm a "big scheme" person and in the big scheme of things i feel as though both the future of my children is promising as well as my relationship with both of them. it seems a rarity anymore that kids enjoy time at home, yet mine do. kids rarely want to go and/or be with their parents yet mine still do. (age 15 & 13..perhaps the end is in sight)
it's not with an iron fist that i go at parenting. rather with a big heart and an open mind. i'm with out a doubt making mistakes but who doesn't in this life. i'm also striving to be true to them and to me. i've been brutally honest, painfully blunt, and an absolute open book. i've talked to and with them and have avoided ever talking at them. they've seen me fail and succeed, happy and sad, at the bottom and what i perhaps thought was the top. we've discussed struggles, hardships, life lessons, & the good, bad and ugly all in an attempt to have a perspective of how all of those things play out in this life. and along the way i realized and am reminded again and again, it's up to me to prepare them less for this life and more for one that's eternal.
i'll be judged along the way as will they but judgments here are only an opinion. i'm far more concerned with the final judgement.
i'm not perfect rather in progress as a mom and a person. but i do thank God daily for trusting me enough to bless me with both kathryn and matthew. if you ask me they're 2 pretty awesome individuals and i am thoroughly going to enjoy this journey with them.
well, contrary to what i thought about motherhood years ago, it's truly the best gig out there. and like many things there seems to be 1001 ways to "mother" and 1002 opinions about how to do it & do it right. i certainly have opinions on it...what i do, wouldn't do, would like to do, what i think others should/shouldn't do, etc... i guess knowing for sure one way or the other weather or not you classify as a "good mom" lies only with the end result and can perhaps be gauged by the state of the relationship between mother/child(ren) along the way.
personally i've parented in such a manner with the hope of not only aiding my kids to grow & develop in a healthy manner & to be good, confident, self-sufficient people but also with the hope of having a strong bond, friendship if you will with them as they grow. It would be nice when it's all said & done to have them choose to 'hang' with the "rent". ;)
i'm pretty sure right or wrong what i'm doing is going according to plan. we're not without our issues but i'm a "big scheme" person and in the big scheme of things i feel as though both the future of my children is promising as well as my relationship with both of them. it seems a rarity anymore that kids enjoy time at home, yet mine do. kids rarely want to go and/or be with their parents yet mine still do. (age 15 & 13..perhaps the end is in sight)
it's not with an iron fist that i go at parenting. rather with a big heart and an open mind. i'm with out a doubt making mistakes but who doesn't in this life. i'm also striving to be true to them and to me. i've been brutally honest, painfully blunt, and an absolute open book. i've talked to and with them and have avoided ever talking at them. they've seen me fail and succeed, happy and sad, at the bottom and what i perhaps thought was the top. we've discussed struggles, hardships, life lessons, & the good, bad and ugly all in an attempt to have a perspective of how all of those things play out in this life. and along the way i realized and am reminded again and again, it's up to me to prepare them less for this life and more for one that's eternal.
i'll be judged along the way as will they but judgments here are only an opinion. i'm far more concerned with the final judgement.
i'm not perfect rather in progress as a mom and a person. but i do thank God daily for trusting me enough to bless me with both kathryn and matthew. if you ask me they're 2 pretty awesome individuals and i am thoroughly going to enjoy this journey with them.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
nowadays....
i remember thinking how pretty she was & i wanted to be just like her.
now, she appears tired, worn down, hard and i hope to be anything but like her.
i remember thinking he was the one...couldn't imagine life without him.
now i know he wasn't even close to being anything i wanted or needed
i remember thinking she was my best friend, that i could tell her anything.
now, i couldn't tell you when the last time was we talked.
now, i couldn't begin to explain why she chose to break a confidence
now i'm left wondering how i could've been so wrong.
nowadays i tend to notice the heart of a person as opposed to the shell. i admire the deed/action far more than their words and appearance. for actions truly speak louder than words.
nowadays i know this guy, (andy) he is the one, and THIS is what it feels like to really NOT be able to imagine life without someone.
nowadays i find myself wondering if a best friend is even a possibility....all the while thankful for the friends i do have.
nowadays come with more knowledge, deeper lessons, more loss, and more pain....but as long as they keep coming i'm good.
it's truly comforting to know God knows what my 'nowadays' will look like. He knows why he has sprinkled my life with people He has chosen. He knows...and really, that's all i need to know.
today i think i'm pretty just as i am. i know i can go on with out him...but hope to never have to. i have a best friend in God and although He knows how i feel, what i think and what i'm gonna say/do, He keeps it between us and loves me anyway.
now, she appears tired, worn down, hard and i hope to be anything but like her.
i remember thinking he was the one...couldn't imagine life without him.
now i know he wasn't even close to being anything i wanted or needed
i remember thinking she was my best friend, that i could tell her anything.
now, i couldn't tell you when the last time was we talked.
now, i couldn't begin to explain why she chose to break a confidence
now i'm left wondering how i could've been so wrong.
nowadays i tend to notice the heart of a person as opposed to the shell. i admire the deed/action far more than their words and appearance. for actions truly speak louder than words.
nowadays i know this guy, (andy) he is the one, and THIS is what it feels like to really NOT be able to imagine life without someone.
nowadays i find myself wondering if a best friend is even a possibility....all the while thankful for the friends i do have.
nowadays come with more knowledge, deeper lessons, more loss, and more pain....but as long as they keep coming i'm good.
it's truly comforting to know God knows what my 'nowadays' will look like. He knows why he has sprinkled my life with people He has chosen. He knows...and really, that's all i need to know.
today i think i'm pretty just as i am. i know i can go on with out him...but hope to never have to. i have a best friend in God and although He knows how i feel, what i think and what i'm gonna say/do, He keeps it between us and loves me anyway.
Monday, May 2, 2011
things that make me go hummmm..................
I have to wonder...what would be the reaction from the older (60ish) lady shopping for a bathing suit at wal-mart if i had approached her and told her the one in her hand would make her look hot! ~ because you see, that was the "thought" that went through my head while quickly grabbing items from wally world. Albeit weird to probably have such a thought, i had it and offered up great restraint to NOT act upon it. Yet I think it would've been priceless.
I have to wonder...why. Why on so many levels and about so many things. For instance, how exhausting it must be to pretend. Pretend to be a parent, pretend to be a friend, to be happy, to be in control, to be "Christ-like". The past month has left me speechless, thoughtful and saying hummmmm quite a bit. I should clarify, - speechless simply because I've stunned and at the point of not being able to say anything nice so I've been silenced. I'm sure it's temporary.
On a serious note, US Navy Seals & the CIA have killed Bin Ladin. History has been made.
On a lighter note...I'm anxiously awaiting the arrival of Jen Lancasters new novel!
Ugh...to feel free enough to really write what I'm thinking!.....
I have to wonder...why. Why on so many levels and about so many things. For instance, how exhausting it must be to pretend. Pretend to be a parent, pretend to be a friend, to be happy, to be in control, to be "Christ-like". The past month has left me speechless, thoughtful and saying hummmmm quite a bit. I should clarify, - speechless simply because I've stunned and at the point of not being able to say anything nice so I've been silenced. I'm sure it's temporary.
On a serious note, US Navy Seals & the CIA have killed Bin Ladin. History has been made.
On a lighter note...I'm anxiously awaiting the arrival of Jen Lancasters new novel!
Ugh...to feel free enough to really write what I'm thinking!.....
Friday, April 29, 2011
April....not much of a fan of you this year
Spring has sprung! is that how the saying goes?
For me it seems as though things have just "sprung" out of control. This month has been excessively grey and rainy. It has brought about the demise of my lap top and the first kiss for my daughter, thus the demise of innocence. In the air have been false accusations and betrayals. Please, oh please bring on the flowers of May
For with the month of May comes the promise of Summer, the end of a school year, and hopefully sunny skies and a newness that revives us all. I've never been one to suffer much from depression but this spring has been taxing to say the least.
As a family we have a lot on our plate as we try to finish up the house in Amboy. God bless Andy as he has pretty much been a one man band at the task at hand. Because of this we've not had him around much and when he's been with us he's been exhausted to say the least.
Easter was certainly a bright spot as it always is. God and Family is what this holiday is about for us and it was so good to see so many at church and in our homes. It has been too long.
Hoping to get a new laptop soon as I miss blogging and random writing but just feel less than inspired in the space where our family computer is located.
Today was the royal wedding of Kate & William, the sun is shining, Andy will be home ...lets hope it's a good day.
Many blessings to you....I'm asking for prayers for me....God knows the concerns and the outcome...I find comfort in that.
For me it seems as though things have just "sprung" out of control. This month has been excessively grey and rainy. It has brought about the demise of my lap top and the first kiss for my daughter, thus the demise of innocence. In the air have been false accusations and betrayals. Please, oh please bring on the flowers of May
For with the month of May comes the promise of Summer, the end of a school year, and hopefully sunny skies and a newness that revives us all. I've never been one to suffer much from depression but this spring has been taxing to say the least.
As a family we have a lot on our plate as we try to finish up the house in Amboy. God bless Andy as he has pretty much been a one man band at the task at hand. Because of this we've not had him around much and when he's been with us he's been exhausted to say the least.
Easter was certainly a bright spot as it always is. God and Family is what this holiday is about for us and it was so good to see so many at church and in our homes. It has been too long.
Hoping to get a new laptop soon as I miss blogging and random writing but just feel less than inspired in the space where our family computer is located.
Today was the royal wedding of Kate & William, the sun is shining, Andy will be home ...lets hope it's a good day.
Many blessings to you....I'm asking for prayers for me....God knows the concerns and the outcome...I find comfort in that.
Monday, April 11, 2011
i want a big new home. new furnishings, the most up-to-date technology. i want a new car one that is economical (is there one out there?). i want an up-to-date wardrobe. and i want all this for my children too! and your children. but here's the thing....i must first pay for and tend to the things i currently have. some are paid for...like my car for instance. but guess what? it must be maintained. and thankfully we've managed to budget accordingly to pay it off early, and set funds aside to ease the blow when maintenance is necessary. in addition we try to set aside money because someday i'll have to purchase a new car and i want to be able to pay for it. same goes for my houses. only i haven't paid for both of them yet. and as for the clothes, well many times i've had to make do. i've worn shirts with stains, pants that were uncomfortable, underwear that were too big/small, bras that were worn out, socks that didn't match and most recently pants that were too big (i bought a belt).
you see, who doesn't want new. who doesn't want better? and most want bigger. but is it smart to buy new & better when what you have still isn't paid for? when you don't have the funds to pay for what you currently have? when you're not quite sure on what the bottom line, final cost will be? well, from those econ classes i've taken, and of course from all i've learned from dave & his financial peace university i'd have to say no.
if that course in money management, examples from our government, and observing other examples of financial crisis' have taught me anything it would be that sometimes you just can't have what you can't afford.
i know this ....in most cases if you can't afford what you currently have ....you're often going to be hard pressed to afford newer & better.
it's a life lesson and a tough one at that. i know because i was beyond spoiled. and i prefer to get what i want when i want it. however, what i want when i want it isn't always in the budget.
....well, unless you want to help me pay for it....not sure how much i'll need from you but as soon as i get all i'm after i'll let you know what you'll need to contribute.
you see, who doesn't want new. who doesn't want better? and most want bigger. but is it smart to buy new & better when what you have still isn't paid for? when you don't have the funds to pay for what you currently have? when you're not quite sure on what the bottom line, final cost will be? well, from those econ classes i've taken, and of course from all i've learned from dave & his financial peace university i'd have to say no.
if that course in money management, examples from our government, and observing other examples of financial crisis' have taught me anything it would be that sometimes you just can't have what you can't afford.
i know this ....in most cases if you can't afford what you currently have ....you're often going to be hard pressed to afford newer & better.
it's a life lesson and a tough one at that. i know because i was beyond spoiled. and i prefer to get what i want when i want it. however, what i want when i want it isn't always in the budget.
....well, unless you want to help me pay for it....not sure how much i'll need from you but as soon as i get all i'm after i'll let you know what you'll need to contribute.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
h.a.d. (hopes and dreams)
it happened...3/28 was the date andy said to me..."so you wanna take a vacation this summer over the 4th" !!!! now vacation planning is that big of a deal for many but for us it can prove to be. you see, i'm of the opinion it's the planning process that gets in the way. for with it comes a commitment to do something that is months away! we are not good at that. i feel i could be, but one will never know....well, until now that is. so, the week of july 4th (my birthday btw) we will head west! on a road trip to south dakota, mt. rushmore, the bad lands, and who knows what else. to say i'm looking forward to it would be an understatement. for i'll be traveling roads i'm yet to be on. that in its self is an adventure. i can't wait!
golly i have many h.a.d. for this summer already!
on a side note ....please lift up in prayer my friend jessica...she'll be having surgery tomorrow, monday at the latest. and for her family as they will all by going through some changes as she recovers. prayers for peace and healing. pray also for my daughter (& all those who are trying out) who will be trying out for cheerleader this coming week. she's already experiencing a great bit of anxiety and stress.
have a blessed thursday and here's to all of your h.a.ds. :)
kel
golly i have many h.a.d. for this summer already!
- andy finishing the amboy house
- our vacation
- taking in a concert w/ my girl
- hitting up the amusement parks for a thrill or 2
- getting the swayzee house under way
- camp for the kiddos
on a side note ....please lift up in prayer my friend jessica...she'll be having surgery tomorrow, monday at the latest. and for her family as they will all by going through some changes as she recovers. prayers for peace and healing. pray also for my daughter (& all those who are trying out) who will be trying out for cheerleader this coming week. she's already experiencing a great bit of anxiety and stress.
have a blessed thursday and here's to all of your h.a.ds. :)
kel
Monday, March 28, 2011
randoms...what else.
on a light note....
comfort food, snacks, all that stuff that has fattened us up over the years should forever be packaged in canisters similar to the pringle can. for it's a struggle for chubbies to successfully get their hand in & out with out great damage to the goods. and after failed attempts we tend to give up.
paper gowns at the dr. office should come with their own set of markers. that way you can be creative while waiting on the dr. to come see you.
on a bit heavier subject....
I do have many teacher friends and must say they are very good teachers. some my children have had the privilege of having as an instructor and others who are not in our district therefore unable to teach my kids. and i married into a family of teachers. i fully respect all that is expected of them. i do however feel that in any job (teaching included) review/evaluation/dismissal should be performance based. now the 64 mil $ question....performance based on what? i have ideas, regarding this but nothing much more than possibilities. i do not however see the necessity for a required "heads up" on observing an instructor. having sat in on several classrooms as an inclusion aide i was often shocked and bothered by the heads up given to the kids when an evaluation would take place and even more bothered by the 180 in what was a typical lesson plan. : ( as a parent and former school employee i think it sad that a teacher remain employed based on "time" as opposed to effectiveness. ....i believe i was told by and administrator once that 3 complaints is a pattern...and one the school just can't have continue. yet there are those still at it who have exceeded 3 ...some multiple times. with all that said...those who do their job...forever encouraging, teaching, inspiring, shouldn't have a care in the world and if it were like jobs i've held they would be duly rewarded financially for their job well done. !!!
my position on stuff.....
Christian, conservative...(very), not a fan of unions....(at all), open minded enough to respect our differences of opinion.
as for the possibility of a new elementary in our district.....I like a campus concept. i don't like the effect it will have financially for business owners and farmers, i don't care for the potentially devastating effect it will have on my home town of swayzee (supposedly sweeter elem. has a buyer in liberty baptist and converse town is 'booming' compared to the other two), i don't like that the physical size of the classrooms is slated to be smaller in size yet the number of students is not to decrease & for that matter OH is in recruiting mode to entice new students, i do like the reduction in principals...or administrators, however wonder if perhaps that's not something that could happen now not only at an elementary level, but at the jr/sr. high level also. i feel there's a misconception re: tuition kids, allowing the general public to wrongfully assume that the monies brought in from a tuition student would somehow reduce the debt left to the OH community members. (that $$ is solely for education/academics not building) i'm also left to wonder what's gonna change....by that i mean, what's going to guarantee upkeep on the new building? as past precedent is not maintaining. (evidently) where will the money needed come from ...as we've obviously not had it in the past. i don't think NOW when the entire public education system and the dolling out of funds is up in the air, is the time to build and incur more debt for the system and expense for the community. i don't think NOW is the time with the economy the way it is...what's attractive about choosing to live in the highest taxed system in the county who has a HS on academic probation*? (*on probation b/c the state has a set standard of improvement required from yr. to yr. to stay off probation. OH has had great academic success in standardized testing, graduation rates, and attendance and as a result...anything less than perfect in those categories has resulted in a probationary status....this too shall pass...but in the mean time who understands?)
with all that said i am for our children, mine and others. those who know me know i've been one of THE biggest supporters/fan of the kids at OH. and those who know me know that i believe in our system. i'm not a fan of all the "connections" but that's part of a small community. and those who know me know that i'm all for change! i'd love to see a woman at the helm. as i've commented many times before it would appear that a 'good ole boys' club is at work. (siblings, old school mates, church family, family, etc....) it leaves one to wonder what (if any) role nepotism plays.
my take on parenting 401 (the teen years)...
situation 1: teen gets busted (again) for drinking with "friends". teen receives a punishment. some time passes.....teen announces they're off for the night with "friends" ....drinking ensues....teen gets busted. punishment ensues. some time passes teen announces they're off for a night out with "friends"......come on! really parental unit!!! i'm all for 2nd chances but not while my head is buried in the sand.
at some point i have to wonder if perhaps the parent shouldn't be punished as they're being outlasted, outwitted, and outplayed by their teen! if you're done parenting don't bother w/ the punishments....you look silly. and in this case ignorance is not bliss! be aware.
tomorrow my oldest turns 15. wow! she's signing up for drivers ed! looking for work! and planning her future! my how time flies. PTL my 13 yr. old is clinging to his childhood! regardless of the pressures from his peers. i'm convinced that's why he avoids "hanging" with the guys! :) whatever the reason, I'll take it. they grow up way too fast!
comfort food, snacks, all that stuff that has fattened us up over the years should forever be packaged in canisters similar to the pringle can. for it's a struggle for chubbies to successfully get their hand in & out with out great damage to the goods. and after failed attempts we tend to give up.
paper gowns at the dr. office should come with their own set of markers. that way you can be creative while waiting on the dr. to come see you.
on a bit heavier subject....
I do have many teacher friends and must say they are very good teachers. some my children have had the privilege of having as an instructor and others who are not in our district therefore unable to teach my kids. and i married into a family of teachers. i fully respect all that is expected of them. i do however feel that in any job (teaching included) review/evaluation/dismissal should be performance based. now the 64 mil $ question....performance based on what? i have ideas, regarding this but nothing much more than possibilities. i do not however see the necessity for a required "heads up" on observing an instructor. having sat in on several classrooms as an inclusion aide i was often shocked and bothered by the heads up given to the kids when an evaluation would take place and even more bothered by the 180 in what was a typical lesson plan. : ( as a parent and former school employee i think it sad that a teacher remain employed based on "time" as opposed to effectiveness. ....i believe i was told by and administrator once that 3 complaints is a pattern...and one the school just can't have continue. yet there are those still at it who have exceeded 3 ...some multiple times. with all that said...those who do their job...forever encouraging, teaching, inspiring, shouldn't have a care in the world and if it were like jobs i've held they would be duly rewarded financially for their job well done. !!!
my position on stuff.....
Christian, conservative...(very), not a fan of unions....(at all), open minded enough to respect our differences of opinion.
as for the possibility of a new elementary in our district.....I like a campus concept. i don't like the effect it will have financially for business owners and farmers, i don't care for the potentially devastating effect it will have on my home town of swayzee (supposedly sweeter elem. has a buyer in liberty baptist and converse town is 'booming' compared to the other two), i don't like that the physical size of the classrooms is slated to be smaller in size yet the number of students is not to decrease & for that matter OH is in recruiting mode to entice new students, i do like the reduction in principals...or administrators, however wonder if perhaps that's not something that could happen now not only at an elementary level, but at the jr/sr. high level also. i feel there's a misconception re: tuition kids, allowing the general public to wrongfully assume that the monies brought in from a tuition student would somehow reduce the debt left to the OH community members. (that $$ is solely for education/academics not building) i'm also left to wonder what's gonna change....by that i mean, what's going to guarantee upkeep on the new building? as past precedent is not maintaining. (evidently) where will the money needed come from ...as we've obviously not had it in the past. i don't think NOW when the entire public education system and the dolling out of funds is up in the air, is the time to build and incur more debt for the system and expense for the community. i don't think NOW is the time with the economy the way it is...what's attractive about choosing to live in the highest taxed system in the county who has a HS on academic probation*? (*on probation b/c the state has a set standard of improvement required from yr. to yr. to stay off probation. OH has had great academic success in standardized testing, graduation rates, and attendance and as a result...anything less than perfect in those categories has resulted in a probationary status....this too shall pass...but in the mean time who understands?)
with all that said i am for our children, mine and others. those who know me know i've been one of THE biggest supporters/fan of the kids at OH. and those who know me know that i believe in our system. i'm not a fan of all the "connections" but that's part of a small community. and those who know me know that i'm all for change! i'd love to see a woman at the helm. as i've commented many times before it would appear that a 'good ole boys' club is at work. (siblings, old school mates, church family, family, etc....) it leaves one to wonder what (if any) role nepotism plays.
my take on parenting 401 (the teen years)...
situation 1: teen gets busted (again) for drinking with "friends". teen receives a punishment. some time passes.....teen announces they're off for the night with "friends" ....drinking ensues....teen gets busted. punishment ensues. some time passes teen announces they're off for a night out with "friends"......come on! really parental unit!!! i'm all for 2nd chances but not while my head is buried in the sand.
at some point i have to wonder if perhaps the parent shouldn't be punished as they're being outlasted, outwitted, and outplayed by their teen! if you're done parenting don't bother w/ the punishments....you look silly. and in this case ignorance is not bliss! be aware.
tomorrow my oldest turns 15. wow! she's signing up for drivers ed! looking for work! and planning her future! my how time flies. PTL my 13 yr. old is clinging to his childhood! regardless of the pressures from his peers. i'm convinced that's why he avoids "hanging" with the guys! :) whatever the reason, I'll take it. they grow up way too fast!
